Topic: Relationships...

English Alexithymia Forum > Personal Experience

Relationships...
01.08.2018 by Brigsson2

I just needed somewhere to possibly vent and ask questions. I've been feeling emotionally numb for the last five or so years. I've been married and divorced within a year. I can't have a relationship because I don't reciprocate the emotional love. I can have a otherwise normal friendship with someone but when they start to get feelings for me I can't figure out how to tell them I can't feel love. It's frustrating to say the least. I also have problems with fear and sadness. I don't get scared over things that would normally scare people nor do I feel the need to cry over things like death or loss. That being said, how can I help people understand that I don't get or understand these emotions? I can feel happy. And I guess excitement as well.

@briggson
15.08.2018 by CatFarts

Hi there.
From my experience and having only just finally received a name to what I feel or somewhat lack feeling. Anyway in my experience of love and loss. I found that either telling them up front you're incapable of feeling certain feelings. To feel what a typical person is awkward to me. Feeling something that should be there is awkward to fake as well. Otherwise you have to fake it and pick your battles. Otherwise offer something as support that doesn't involve "feelings" that you cannot give to them. So like advice, a cuddle/comforts, make them something that says you took the time and love to make for them. I know that relationship with my ex husband and who today continues to be my best friend. I struggle to attach to be comfortable with someone that makes a deep enough void to "care for" if they up and died. It's a fear that if my son were to disappear that I wouldn't be able to be a typical person in that type of situation, would he make a substantial void in my life for me to stop me in my tracks?

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