≡ Topic: Hello, I am new and how do we turn this off

English Alexithymia Forum > Personal Experience

Hello, I am new and how do we turn this off
16.03.2020 by icantcry

Hi,

this is my first post here. I just joined today. I always considered myself different in that I never showed emotion for any funerals etc. I have also been considered to have a high EQ. people come to talk to me about their problems and I can "understand" and "relate" to assist them.

I feel very detached from my emotions despite the ability to project the outward appearance that I have feelings. I feel like there are some suspicions with my family that I don't have emotions but they are confused. a few years ago when my aunt passed on my parents asked me if I didn't cry at her funeral because I was angry with her. truth was that I wasn't upset i just wasn't emotional enough to express it with tears. I do feel sad sometimes like I could cry but I just don't. my real question is, can we change this? i dont feel happy about not having the emotion. i want to be able to experience it and be a part of things. this way i just feel like i am not normal and not the same as the other people around me.

17.03.2020 by OldAuntie

I'm new here just today myself (and I'd love to be able to make a post here of my own but I can't figure out how. Plus I had a devil of a time just starting an account.)

Your mother has unrealistic expectations about your behavior at the funeral. The deaths of loved ones are trying to say the least and everybody responds in their own way. I almost started laughing in the middle of my father's funeral.

I'm just a middle aged lady who recently discovered she has this but if my experience means anything I expect it will change over time. But even if it doesn't that doesn't make you less of a person. What you do experience is valid and enough.

I know there's nothing I can really say to help you feel better about being different from your peers and family members but I'd like to suggest that you not focus on your lack. Be aware of it of course but don't make it central in your thoughts.

Everybody is at least a little bit fucked up and if this is pretty much all you have going against you you'll be fine.

-K

PS crying is overrated

15.04.2020 by User74504G85

text me 860-501-2655 if you want someone to talk to that will relate with you.

22.06.2020 by User25660N61

This is exactly what crossed my mind. How do I stop this or fix this. How do I fill in the missing pieces. Far as I've seen googling it real fast theres nothing. I've downloaded and bought several medical and psychiatric books on the subject. Which there are alot and on different subjects. Alexi and back pain; Alexi and diabetes, Alexi and Schizoid and mental; and lots others. I've also started meditation and Hypnotherapy/sleep hypnosis. Also for a long time, as soon as i realized i was not the same as everyone else, I started studying others behaviors. I'd daydream different scenarios like with my friends about them talking about boys and what they'd say and what i'd say and how'd everybody react. So much so that i'm pretty good at it. I've learned alot. Alot about how i should act with which scenarios and what I should say which has come in handy so much. Fake it till you make it. I just figured I'd rewire my brain. If I do it enough then it'll become reality is what I'm hoping or telling myself. I always think what if that was me? I put myself in everybody elses shoes to try to empathize. It seems like its working.