Topic: Thoughts, as I struggle through this....

English Alexithymia Forum > Personal Experience

Thoughts, as I struggle through this....
15.04.2018 by Docster

Life is situations
to overcome

Problems
to solve

If something happens, I am the one moving toward it..
not entangled in thoughts, before moving

I can help if you are hurt
not as much if you're hurting.

I can carry you to safety if you are broken
but not lift your spirits

Often alone by my own design
I do not know loneliness.

I move quickly away from intense emotion
irrational behavior inevitably follows
irrational speech

An achievement is a task completed
on the way to the next
a task completed successfully is not momentous
but failures are not devastating, only another task.....

I miss social and personal cues...
and when I try to communicate to someone
that they are special to me
what I'm thinking comes out

Something is missing, perhaps
but I've stopped pursuing it
faking it
the world does not understand
I often feel invisible

I envy those who are able to elegantly communicate feelings
I pity those who are consumed in them

For a short time I can maintain a facade
And later regret living in that facade
it seems dishonest
making it the more difficult to initiate
contact again... perhaps ever

Is it broken
if it never worked?

But sometimes
I am greeted, and
somehow there is a connection
no matter how brief
it is in the eyes
perhaps they see the music

hello
07.07.2018 by andrealissette

Hello, recently, I inadvertently found out about Alexithymia. It started with writing a story about a character who does not have emotions. I didn't know about Alexithymia then and now I have made it my homework to understand how it works. I don't want to continue writing about alexithymia when I have little knowledge about it. I came across this site and read a couple of posts which helped me out more. But to fully understand I would like to personally talk to someone with alexithymia to know their side of the story and to correct me on my knowledge. If you are interested to talk to me feel free to email me at liz_0@icloud.com
thank you!

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