Topic: can someone with alexithymia be an empath?

I’m and Empath and HSP, my personality type is INFJ.. So yes and Empath can have Alexithymia

I think so... but I think if it’s Alexi it could be a moral compass compensating??

To me the whole Alexi and Empath things are poles apart. If you don't understand, recognise or even experience your own emotions have can you possible empathise with somebody else's? I personally don't recognise most of my own emotions and as for other people's I only know what they're feeling if they tell me in plain English and if they do I find it embarrassing. Frankly couldn't give a toss about them, I just don't want to know.

Autistics often have poor logical empathy but have high emotional empathy. Just because you don't recognize your emotions doesn't mean they don't exist. jute you're a Psychopath, you lack emotional empathy. Hopefully your pro-social like James Fallon and not one that views the world as an unfair place, so that they can do whatever they want and not feel bad about it.

Gee, why did I spent several sessions and many hours with a psychologist, who diagnosed me with OCD and nothing else, when it took you just one post to diagnose me as a psychopath? Your 'diagnosis' is based on what? At the very least it's misguided and at worse it's a personal attack and a deliberate insult.

Autistics often have poor logical empathy but have high emotional empathy. Just because you don't recognize your emotions doesn't mean they don't exist.

If I'm aware of having emotions that I don't recognise then of course they must exist, that's simple logic, which I was already aware of.

My advice to you is, stick to replying to posts and don't make rash, unsupported statements and accusations about other users who you know next to nothing about.

This interaction is over. If you make any more personal attacks on me I'll report you to the site Admins.

ee, why did I spent several sessions and many hours with a psychologist, who diagnosed me with OCD and nothing else,Psychopathy isn't part of normal psychology, it part of criminality.Your 'diagnosis' is based on what?as for other people's I only know what they're feeling if they tell me in plain English and if they do I find it embarrassing. Frankly couldn't give a toss about them, I just don't want to know.

when it took you just one post to diagnose me as a psychopath?Jute had already made several posts here.

This interaction is over. If you make any more personal attacks on me I'll report you to the site Admins.

Yet, you continue with the amateur psychology. I've reported you and this is my last communication with you. You have nothing to say that I wish to hear.

I'm very much an empath. I can feel what others are feeling, but I still have a difficult time expressing the emotion in words. I have difficulty pinpointing what exactly I am feeling, but feel tremendously.

I also have difficulty understanding my own feelings. At times they can be very intense but it would be difficult for me to categorize precisely what emotions I am actually experiencing. I have no idea what other people are feeling, unless they tell me in plain and unequivocal terms.

I guess I'm a "learned" empath.

Also perhaps partly because I'm a Buddhist and I practice compassion--I may not necessarily understand how it feels, but I definitely have the idea of being nice to other people hardwired in my brain and behaviors.

Empathy is an act - sympathy is a feeling (sorrow for the other beings plight)

@JoanjojoW asked, "Can someone with Alexithymia be an Empath." I believe it's possible because I sense that I'm married to someone who could be.

It sounds irrational, I know. How could someone who can't express what they're feeling (Alexi) be an Empath. What I've learned this year (to my shock) is that many are Empaths from trauma during childhood.

Just as is Narcissism (Narcissistic Personality Disorder). A traumatized or neglected child goes one way or the other. My brother has full blown NPD. I am an Empath (late bloomer to settled into this - 40's. I'm 50 now).

Sensitivity (ability to sense the invisible) is a natural human trait that we're born having access to. Trauma during childhood suppresses or expands your sensitivity. Me: I never knew if Mom would be happy, sad, angry, loving, violent, when I trusted, I was sexually abused, when I began to feel safe, I was abandoned, etc.

*** I learned that if I could sense, intuit, anticipate, feel what others were feeling, I could protect myself, get out of the way of danger ** -- like a deer and a lion in the bushes. The deer senses danger and runs to safety before the lion can attack. Most of the time).

Husband: Parents: Religious addicts. He was whipped, spanked, punished if he showed *any* emotion - from super excited to angry, any extreme emotion was 'the work of the devil'. Intuition was a sin.

My husband had a 'cognition experience' around age 9. He told his dad (excitedly, with a child's naivety, that he knew something before it happened). His dad mocked, minimized and stifled the experience. He said it was the 'work of a demon' and if he did it again, he would go to hell for eternity and no son of his was going to disgrace him like that.

If he was seen as doing something bad (child stuff, nothing truly bad), his said would say, "you feel you are___" and if he responded, "No dad, I don't feel that way. I promise! I feel ," this would enrage his dad. He'd grab the paddle and spank him until he agreed that what he felt was what his DAD TOLD him he felt.

**** Husband learned as a child: "It's not safe to feel or show emotions. Detach from my emotions, disconnect."

My husband is not abusive physically or verbally. He's neglectful... unintentionally *sigh*. He filters reality. Anything that has too much emotion or feeling for him (learned as a child) is filtered out. If say, "I'm devastated" he hears "I'm angry" or "I'm sad."

Whether I'm crying from a cut on my thumb that happened chopping a cucumber or crying from the sudden death of someone close to me, it's registered in him as the same.

It's getting better, but it's a painful painful process for us both, each in our own way.

I'm learning through research and study (and desperation), that this filtering is programmed into him from childhood (it still hurts, nonetheless, and I feel his confusion and all of the feelings he can't recognize he's feeling when he feels them).

He has alexithymia. Thank God we know now. And he has me - Empath, intuitive, clarcognizant (all of this coming into alignment in me within the last 2 years).

He's got the "gift" -- I say. He just doesn't know how to feel it. You may too, and you're sensing it.

To all who read this: Answers are in Dr. Gabor Mate, YouTube-Richard Grannon, Dr. Jonice Webb (I'm sure many of you have heard of her already), Pete Walker's Book "From Surviving to Thriving," Dr. Judith Orloff (Empath AND Psychiatrist), YouTube-IANDSVideos "International Association for Near Death Studies"

With gratitude and appreciation for this discussion,

~ Alette

Bless you

Someone with alexithymia can definitely be empathic. Although you might be disconnected from your emotions and your empathy, all those processes are still active in your subconscious mind influencing what you do.

yes you can definitely be empathic and still not actually feel yourself. i think alot of my friends see me as someone who is because i have alot of friends who talk to me about things in their lives and their feelings towards it. i think i do a good job because they keep coming back but in my mind i really dont care, they just helping me pass the time

I think there is word-meaning disconnection.

Empathy means you can set yourself into that other persons situation and feel the same.

Sympathy means you understand someone has faced some difficulty and realize he is affected by that, thus either giving him support for it or accounting for it in some other way.

And once again:

Sympathy:
If somebody would tell you about thinking of suicide, you know he is not probably feeling well. You say, "Oh there is so much to live for, just keep on going and things will get better. I make some coffee"

Or more practical, someone says their arms are very weak because of working so you say,
"Let me carry those bags for you then."

Empathy:
It is about placing yourself into other's position and feeling the similar feeling as other. He feels sad, you feel sad. I do not know if I have ever felt something like that. Sounds wild.

Alexithymia and empathy--can. they co-exist in the same person? I would say yes; I'm the first person to run and get a tissue when I see or hear someone crying even though I don't know why I am doing it.

I possibly have alexithymia, but I think it's on a different spectrum than what a few of you guys are explaining. I HAVE emotions, I just don't understand them or feel them in my brain. I feel stress and anxiety because they have physical effects, but I empathise with other people. I know my friends emotions by heart and I've helped with many emotional problems with my friends, but I don't understand my own emotions. I think I understand emotions so well because I've been reading and love it too. I've always been intrigued with emotions too.

I possibly have alexithymia, but I think it's on a different spectrum than what a few of you guys are explaining. I HAVE emotions, I just don't understand them or feel them in my brain. I feel stress and anxiety because they have physical effects, but I empathise with other people. I know my friends emotions by heart and I've helped with many emotional problems with my friends, but I don't understand my own emotions. I think I understand emotions so well because I've been reading and love it too. I've always been intrigued with emotions too.

The question “Can someone alexithymic be an empath” cannot be answered until you first establish your understanding of what an Empath is. Take a look here: http://eggshelltherapy.com/empath/

Imi Lo works with emotionally intense and highly sensitive people. She is the author of Emotional Sensitivity and Intensity, available in multiple languages, and The Gift of Intensity. Imi is the founder of Eggshell Therapy and Coaching, working with intense people from around the world.

Imi Lo credentials include a Master of Mental Health, Master of Buddhist Studies, Graduate Diploma in Psychology, Bachelor of Social Science in Social Work, Certificate in Logic-based Therapy, and an Advanced Diploma in Contemporary Psychotherapy. She has received multiple scholarships including the Endeavour Award by the Australian Government. She has appeared in publications such as The Psychologies Magazine, The Telegraph, Marie Claire, and The Daily Mail

It is cognitive empathy you are describing. It is a learned response over time.

For example, you know if you see someone crying you are supposed to soothe them or comfort them by putting your arm around their shoulders and saying it’ll be ok. You learned this by seeing people cry and the response of others around them multiple times over the years. You do not have to know how it feels to be sad and cry to know to comfort someone who is.

Therefore, cognitive empathy (learned response) is vastly different than empathy (feelings + emotions). So, the answer is no; an empath cannot also have alexithymia.

It is cognitive empathy you are describing. It is a learned response over time.

For example, you know if you see someone crying you are supposed to soothe them or comfort them by putting your arm around their shoulders and saying it’ll be ok. You learned this by seeing people cry and the response of others around them multiple times over the years. You do not have to know how it feels to be sad and cry to know to comfort someone who is.

Therefore, cognitive empathy (learned response) is vastly different than empathy (feelings + emotions). So, the answer is no; an empath cannot also have alexithymia.

NO
I dont think so. If empathy is feeling/understanding someone else’s emotions on a deep level than that would go against the diagnostic criteria. Though, maybe if you mean like in an active sense: Like a person tells you they are sad and than you do what you can to calm/care for them than I think yes. But in general I think the word ‘empath’ is thrown around to much these days to describe a bunch of things.

I can sense other peoples emotions but I do not know my own so what category does that put me in? I also agree with @User67655N82 that the word empath does get thrown around a lot to describe different things. I could be called emotionally understanding? I don’t know

I have been told I’m an empath, however I think I am just highly sensitive to the energies and emotions of others. I can sense the changes in how they feel and interpret what their reactions mean. So for example, when someone is crying I don’t automatically feel their sadness. However, if I am attached to them I will respond to their sadness and get sucked in so that I take on their sadness and not realize it doesn’t belong to me. I can then have a sadness for the next couple days. If I am with someone with overwhelming feelings I shut down completely and go numb. After an encounter like that I can have trouble feeling anything for quite some time.

I read any subtle changes in other people’s demeanor or emotional energy and respond accordingly. I am extremely sensitive to it to the point that I can tell even the slightest shift in thinking patterns to detect energy changes. It was a conditioning from childhood with an emotionally abusive parent. The problem that I’m facing is that I am constantly being pulled into the gravity of what other people are feeling. I take on those feelings as if they were my own (since I don’t understand my own). My feelings are hidden from me, so absorbing theirs gets me very confused as to what actually belongs to me. I have to stay away from people who are emotional volatile naturally.

When I took the test it reflected that I don’t recognize why I’m having feelings, but I do feel them. It’s just extremely difficult to know what is actually mine and what I’ve taken on from who I’m with. My true alexithymia comes out in that I can’t tell other people what I’m feeling without a lot of anxiety and stress even after I’ve taken a lot of time and introspection to know what those feelings really are. The best way for me to share my feelings is to write them out, lean in intuitively to determine whether or not they’re authentic. Then, when I’m speaking with someone I shut off my feelings and recall what I wrote and tell them about it. That way I don’t actually have to feel them as I am speaking, but I know that they are mine.

No clue but according to all these people you can be. I have enough trouble with my “feelings” or lack there of. I know other people have feelings but I don’t know what those may be. I am not good in emotional situations simply because it makes me uncomfortable I guess. You know that feeling people get in bad situations where you know this will not end well and it never does because people always get mad when you can’t empathize with them. Or you can’t hug someone when they are crying because it’s just weird at least to me. I really don’t understand what is so great about feeling the emotions I lack. Like why would I want to feel the need to cry about something or to feel the pain someone else feels for that matter. I was made like this for a reason so why change? My family understands but new people don’t. I’m the calmest person in any situation. My lack of feelings makes me stronger in my opinion.