Topic: can people with alexithymia feel boredom

English Alexithymia Forum > Questions and Answers

can people with alexithymia feel boredom
26.07.2018 by empleat

i understand people with alexythimia can't feel any emotions, or can't understand them and express them.
Do people with alexithymia feel bored, or if i had alexithymia could i feel no difference, whether i would look into wall whole day, or was doing something entertaining ?
Thanks for answer.

Being alexithymic is not the same and psycopathic
27.07.2018 by Robyn

In my experience, being alexithymic is more of an inability to feel or express more complex or intense emotions. So simple feelings such as boredom, sadness, anger, and joy I would say I feel somewhat normally. However if you asked me to explain how or why I am experiencing sadness/anger/joy etc. I could not find the words or sometimes even the feeling itself to explain it to you. Alexithymia is not a complete lack of emotion. It is a disconnection or difficulty processing. People with a total void of emotion are experiencing something more in the vain of psychopathy

29.12.2018 by oalineo

I have alexithymia and I don't know what it's like to be bored, to miss someone...

01.01.2019 by Jute

The 'ability' (?) to feel bored is probably an individual trait. I doubt that it has anything to do with whether someone is Alexithymic or not.

02.02.2019 by Tracy_Lehane

It isn't that you don't feel any just can't identify them or explain them at all. I'm not a psychopath...I do have feelings.

14.02.2019 by User76076D72

Personally, I don’t really consider boredom to be an emotion. My emotions are completely disconnected so I can’t really feel much of anything at all or if I do, I’m not aware of it. But I definitely know when I’m bored.
But that might be because I have ADHD exacerbating things.

22.02.2019 by Will1234

I never really feel boredom but I have to have something to do or I can’t get enough impulse or purpose but that could just be an autistic thing

23.02.2019 by Jute

I generally have things to do, to occupy my mind, but I can do nothing if I choose and I still don't feel bored. That's because in those situations doing nothing is what I have chosen to do, so I have no resentment towards it. Resentment with a situation is probably at the root of boredom.

02.03.2019 by Will1234

I was going through all my old books and re arranging my books in groups of authors and my DVD’s in groups of franchise and production company when I came across a file on me from when I was in primary school. I began to read through it and it has some of my old teachers in it and it made me feel quite high and also empty at the same time.

I progressed towards the back and that was when it all went down hill. It was filled with stuff to do with my autism and stuff that they said I’ll might not be able to do that I’ve done and stuff that I will be able to do that I can’t.
I then found a page on how to deal with me and I thought, my parents never did this.

It made me feel really shit with the soul shot and the jump of the cliff roles into one and that triggered a meltdown. I didn’t know what it was until the episode had finished. I somehow felt every emotion possible and that was wierd considering my alexithymia. Anger, rage, jealousy, sadness, depression and suicidal thoughts. Luckily I was alone and I managed to put it out like a fire after an hour or 2. Music got me through it, it also covered up the sound from next door.

03.03.2019 by Jute

The past is done and over with, forget it, there's nothing you can do about it now. When I was expelled from school I gathered together all of my school books, reports, uniform, sports kits and everything else and I went for a walk with the dog that I had back then and I threw the lot on a bonfire, not the dog, just the school stuff. When I left primary school and went to grammar school I threw all of my primary school stuff away.

I mostly tend to arrange DVDs, CDs, downloads and books in alphabetical order but not always, sometimes I'll group DVDs that star the same person together.

03.03.2019 by Will1234

I don’t want to forget my past though because I want to remember my journey because I wouldn’t be the person I am today without it. That’s the only primary school thing I have left and as much hell it was it’s like what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger so I need it to help me remember the tough challenges I’ve faced and got through to help me in future challenges.

I found out I was autistic around 12 or 13 through medical records I came across. My has never told me and it’s not like I’m a little kid cause I’m approaching adulthood.
I might just wait until she tells me if she does and laugh in her face telling her that I played her and I’ve known for years.

But I have previously looked at others on the spectrum from my school who have been told by someone and they all get certain privileges that I may need at some point. The school know so why am I any different to the others.
I had help in primary but I didn’t know what for, towards the end of primary I began to wonder what was wrong with me, I thought I had ADHD but I didn’t really know cause I didn’t know what ASD1 was.

P.S that alphabetical order ideal isn’t bad I might alter the DVD set up if I have time (again).

03.03.2019 by Jute

Arranging DVDs etc by alphabetical order is a big task to start off with but once it's done it makes it really, really easy to find whatever you're looking for and when you get something new, you can just slot it right into the right place.

I didn't get diagnosed until I was an adult, because when I was a kid they thought that all autistics sat in a corner, wearing a diaper and banging their head on a wall. Because I didn't do those things, at least when anyone was looking, they just figured that I was a contrary arsehole, who enjoyed deliberately misunderstanding things for the sake of it. I was the kid who just didn't fit in, with anything, but everyone assumed that I was doing it out of choice. Nobody twigged that I was just like that, through no fault of my own. So the only 'help' that I ever got was numerous detentions and other punishments.

03.03.2019 by Will1234

I got help but never knew why and I got pissed of because I said I could do stuff and they would interfere.

But in Grammar it’s the complete opposite, in English i was sat with people I just didn’t talk to so I kept getting low effort scores but then when I sat next to Jacob my grades jumped.

In year 7 the change without any help fucked me. We had a teacher called Mr Davis and that year he gave me 47 detentions alone, he even sent me out before the lesson had started which I didn’t know was possible. I had him again in year 9 but he only sent me out 10 times so I was quite proud of that. Until I had a fight over a chair in one of the old locker rooms, there wasn’t enough space so it was a bit of a shit fight.

03.03.2019 by Jute

The month before I was expelled I was barred from several lesson because individual teachers decided that they didn't want me present during their lessons :) So I was banned from French, Latin, Geography, English and Music. I was supposed to just stand in the corridor outside the classroom. Like shit, I just did the bunk.

03.03.2019 by Will1234

You did Latin and french?
I didn’t choose any languages, I chose media, history, Art and business. I don’t know if my grammar school could have barred me from lessons due to school policy.

03.03.2019 by Jute

I had no choice. I'm absolutely shit at languages, but it was compulsory to take Latin and we had to choose a second language from French, German or Spanish. I chose French because I'd done little bit of it in year six of primary school, so I knew a tiny bit of it. I was still rubbish at it though and had absolutely no interest in it.

When I was at school teachers had a lot more power than they do these days and the headmaster backed the up too.

03.03.2019 by Will1234

I took German for 3 years until I chose my options where I dropped it, I only did it so I could speak like hitler.

In year 9 a fellow autistic called Harvey tried to walk out the class and Harvey pushed him out of the way. The teacher then pulled him back by the collar.

The teacher filed a complaint of assault but all of the class testified to say it was the teacher in the wrong not Harvey

04.03.2019 by Jute

My school insisted that languages were 'core subjects' so that made you choose at least one as an option, whether you wanted to do so or not. The headmaster was a Catholic cannon and several of the staff were priests, so they were very big on discipline. The prefects checked us as we came through the school gates every morning and if we didn't have the full, approved uniform we got sent home. So we had to wear the school blazer, black trousers, grey shirt (not white that was for prefects only), grey socks, black shoes and the school tie. Anything wrong and we got a a detention and also sent home to put the correct clothes on. If it was cold or raining we could have any sort of jacket we wanted, but it had to be black.

04.03.2019 by Will1234

We are meant to wear black jackets and coats but in year 9 I came in wearing a blue, white and red Addidas jacket and my form tutor had a go at me for not being smart. After in the winter I came in wearing a mustard yellow massive artic coat and they just stopped bothering to try to stop me wearing my stuff.

05.03.2019 by Jute

At my school they simply wouldn't have let you through the gates. If it had happened more than once or twice the school would have contacted your parents and pointed out that the school uniform policy wasn't optional. Once a term they had a 'non uniform day' when, if you made a donation to charity, you were allowed to wear whatever you wanted.

06.03.2019 by Will1234

Your school was probably stricter In those areas and mine in others.
I mean if I hadn’t have hidden the wall pining stuff I’d have had an hour detention

06.03.2019 by Jute

My school was very big on discipline. They handed out lines and detentions for the slightest infringement of rules or for not scoring high enough in spot tests, not doing homework to a high enough standard and even for behaviour outside of school. I got a week's detention once, in year 8, when I had to attend basketball games for an hour after school and cheer on the school team. I got the detention because a teacher drove past the bus stop where I was waiting for a bus home. He noticed that I'd removed my school tie and I'd tied it round my head, as a headband as a joke (I had pretty long hair at the time). So he stopped the car and ordered me to put my tie on properly. He told me that I was a disgrace to the school, as passers by would recognise which school I attended by my uniform. Gee, was I glad when they finally expelled me.

06.03.2019 by Will1234

I would just tell them to go to hell. If I’m off school property then the teacher has no authority over me.
There was a teacher in at school who once tried to give me a detention for swearing but I refused.

07.03.2019 by Jute

Things have changed. At one time if you were smacked by a teacher and told your parents they'd have smacked you too. Nowadays if you got smacked by a teacher your parents would be phoning a lawyer. Back then teachers had far more authority and we given much more respect, deserved or not. I did rock the boat as I hate being told what to do. The result? I was expelled.

07.03.2019 by Will1234

If a teacher smacked me, I wouldn’t have told my parents, I would have got up and attacked them.

08.03.2019 by Jute

The school would have informed your parents. And back then, if you'd have assaulted a teacher you'd have gone to court. Then you'd have been sent a Borstal (youth prison) where the the staff would have kicked shit out of you repeatedly. Back then people didn't just follow rule because they were more polite than they are nowadays but also because the consequences of not following rules were a lot more severe.

08.03.2019 by Will1234

I don’t think you know how far I would go to get freedom. If my mum tried to send me there I’d either dissapear without a trace or tie her up and then jump my dad when he gets home so I can take a bunch of stuff sell it and then get a place to stay and a job somewhere else.

09.03.2019 by Jute

That's called letting things get completely out of hand. Actions have consequences and if you take those into consideration right at the start then things need never escalate to that degree. Back then you simply avoided winding teachers up to the point at which they smacked you one. If they did do it, then you simply bit your lip and put up with it. To do any more than that would start a chain of events that would lead to a far worse situation in which, as a kid, you'd always come off worse.

09.03.2019 by Will1234

They might turn out worse but I know I could get out of those type of situations. My inability in social situations is almost the opposite of my ability in logical and puzzling situation.

09.03.2019 by Jute

There are some things that you simply can't get out of, except by making them even worse. The secret is to not allow yourself to get into those situations in the first place.

09.03.2019 by Will1234

I’m not invincible or anything but I am way more logical and intellectual than the Average person in stuff like that. If I think I can do something I can do it.

10.03.2019 by Jute

I've sure that the vast majority of people languishing in prisons thought the same thing. Nobody would ever commit a crime if they believed they were going to get caught and get punished for it. They all thought they were going to get a way with it. They were all wrong.

10.03.2019 by Will1234

Have you watched those programs of inside a prison, half of them can barely talk properly.
Ted bunny smart guy got caught eventually but that’s because he was driving and caught the attention of the police. He killed many, many people and evaded the police for a decent amount of time.
I’m talking about one murder.
I’m not a phsyco or something who is gonna go killing loads of people but I’m just saying I would leave no evidence. A bit like dexter.

25.09.2019 by User26983E79

salut , l'ennui n'est pas une émotion, donc les alex peuvent aussi s'ennuyer


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Alexithymia - emotional blindness - is a personality trait characterized by the inability to identify and describe emotions in the self. Core characteristics of alexithymia are marked dysfunction in emotional awareness, social attachment, and interpersonal relationship.
Alexithymia is prevalent in approximately 10% of the general population and is known to be comorbid with a number of psychiatric conditions. Due the inability to cope with feelings and emotions as described in psychology there are counseling services to establish mental health.
Psychologist have argued that the alexithymia construct is strongly related to the concepts of psychological mindedness and emotional intelligence.
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