Topic: Is there hope?

English Alexithymia Forum > Personal Experience

Is there hope?
29.07.2018 by whatiusedtobe

A counsellor suggested to my husband of 16 years that he has Asperger's. No official diagnosis, he's in his 50s and doctors are not at all interested. I learnt about alexithymia while reading up on Asperger's. I feel emotionally totally wilted and drained, to the point where I can't even give much emotional support to my teenage daughter anymore and sometimes am myself having to resort to seeking support from my son who's in his 20s. This all is so wrong and I hate my very existence because of it. I was begging GP to help for over 2 years now but all they offer is antidepressants to me. We went to 2 different councillors for a year with no progress and see no point to continue. We both work and earn well but my work is the only thing in my life that I have at least some resemblance of control over so I'm terrified to loose it if I won't be able to continue to pretend that I'm fine. What do I do, please? Can't leave him as my daughter will not leave him. I can't even think about leaving her behind either. Not that I want to leave anyway, it just seems to be the only way to save my sanity. Any suggestions or advice, please? Had anyone found a way out of such sad situation? Thank you all in advance.

This forum is promising for me at least
01.10.2018 by Emotion-less

Someone named Tiger91 posted this in another section and is something i will try to work on myself. It may be helpful for you

First start by increasing emotional awareness. It doesn't have to be done by focusing on the body but just try to focus closely on what you experience and find the feelings and elaborate on them by trying to perceive them more closely. This could take a few attempts for each type of feeling. Days, weeks, months. After that you can try the step of identification... Again, days, weeks, months or even years if you don't have good help. After that, you can try and see how the feeling/emotion relates to situations. Try to integrate it that way. Oh and good help would be reading books about feelings, emotions, related topics and someone (therapist, etc) who can talk very easily about feelings and who can empathize with you in a way that you do (eventually) respond to that at least a bit.

11.02.2019 by Nimue

Hi, I’m new to this forum. I joined because I just hit another point where I’ve just acknowledged another piece of myself I’m giving up/losing/pushing aside to accommodate my husband’s alexithymia. I can’t tell you if things will get better, I truly hope they do, but I hope it helps you to know that there are some of us out there who can identify with what you are feeling. I used to think I was going mad before we learned he had alexithymia.


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Alexithymia - emotional blindness - is a personality trait characterized by the inability to identify and describe emotions in the self. Core characteristics of alexithymia are marked dysfunction in emotional awareness, social attachment, and interpersonal relationship.
Alexithymia is prevalent in approximately 10% of the general population and is known to be comorbid with a number of psychiatric conditions. Due the inability to cope with feelings and emotions as described in psychology there are counseling services to establish mental health.
Psychologist have argued that the alexithymia construct is strongly related to the concepts of psychological mindedness and emotional intelligence.
These pages should deliver additional information about Alexithymia and offer information for affected persons, relatives and people generally interested in this personality trait.

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