Topic: Has anyone ever been cured of Alexithymia?

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Has anyone ever been cured of Alexithymia?
10.10.2019 by User22498P67

My therapist diagnosed that I suffer from a bunch of disorders, from which I only admit to experiencing anxiety and depression. Depression is not one of the disorders I am supposed to have. Then, some day he told me that my disorder is alexithymia and a lot of fancy terms were introduced to me, such as low emotional intelligence, empathy and so forth. I admit to being a bit of fucked up, but, honestly, I find this diagnosis and alexithymia bullshit, just another term invented to describe something that cannot be precisely determined. According to my experience, my initial diagnosis was confusing and vague, what followed, alexithymia along with the fancy terms relating to emotions, was the definition of vagueness.

I don't see any reason for trying to make perfect use of emotions when that emotional system of yours is deficient. If you act like a "robot" when you suffer from alexithymia, why not act precisely like a "robot" (robots are really useful in our society, right?), which means elimination of any deficient emotions, instead of trying to restore their functionality in vain? I mean what's the problem when your whole system functions as it should function, while you don't experience any emotions? Is it better to experience bad emotions that affect your whole system or just not experience anything? Moreover, what's the problem with relating emotions to external factors? If certain material and non-material things or benefits are taken away from a non-alexithymic person, wouldn't their feelings and emotions deteriorate? Wouldn't they feel unhappy?

The real question for me is: Has anyone ever been cured of alexithymia? If yes, how did that happen? By fixing their emotional system or by eliminating their bad emotions?

I took the alexithymia test a couple of years ago and today I did the same. My score today is 20 points lower than a couple of years ago and the new test results also suggest high alexithymic traits. So am I making any progress? Since I was aware of alexithymia, I have tried to better understand emotions and the fancy terms, but I don't really understand any substantial improvement concerning my quality of life, my relationships, my existence in general. On the contrary, I have been engaged into situations and thoughts that cause distress and depression.

12.11.2019 by aletteinthemaze

Hi @User22498P67,

Your Q: "Anyone ever been cured of Alexithymia? How? By fixing their emotional system or eliminating their bad emotions?"

"Running on Empty" by Dr. Jonice Webb was our introduction into realizing that Childhood Emotional Neglect and Alexithymia go hand and hand.

Assumption: "Emotionally Dumb, An Overview of Alexithymia" is known among this group (?). I hate the title, it's insulting, but the material is solid. Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Emotionally-Dumb-Alexithymia-Jason-Thompson-ebook/dp/B0038VZJ9U

It describes of two causes of Alexithymia. Primary and Secondary Alexithymia. In layman's terms, primary alexithymia is something you're 'born with' or that occurred from an injury and secondary alexithymia is caused from intense trauma as a child where expressing emotions were dangerous.

In secondary alexithymia, for example, my husband was neglected from birth until age 16. His parents were narcissistic/authoritarian and "religious addicts" (any problem he had that he needed parental guidance on he was told to give it to God and that the reason he was struggling with the problem was because he was a sinner and not following God's law, etc.).

He was whipped with a paddle for showing any feelings or emotions. If he was upset for any reason, if he cried, or overly excited, ANY feeling or emotion expressed was punishable by paddle. He was told what he felt and punished if he disagreed. He disconnected his feeling ability from his logic ability.

I'm curious to know more as to why you have alexithymia (injury/born with it/childhood trauma).

My husband is getting better but there has been terrible collateral damage to our 8 months marriage. His alexithymia (and other issues) were triggered by getting married. Our 2 years of dating was wonderful.

He's trying so hard. He knows I will wither w/o a close connection to my mate. That's because I am an Intuitive Empath with Claircognizant abilities. We couldn't be more opposite. But, it's because of my ability to feel isn't seen (I could feel th distortiones and confusion of feelings and emotions inside him that he never expressed or often expressed in ways that provoked me or were unkind).

Past girlfriends broke up with him, finding him "weird" or used him (taking advantage of his naivety and lack of emotional awareness of a situation - those b**ches).

As an Empath, we seek to always speak our truth. It took 3 months before I came out of my trigger PTSD response to his behavior, thinking he had lost his mind and/or was a psychopath (past narcissist and psychological abuse relationships kept me single 20 years).

I'm leery of therapists, just like you. The opposite end of the spectrum to Alexithymia, I was very shy as a child but felt EVERYTHING (I thought something was wrong with ME). As an adult, always being told I overthink, I'm too sensitive, go with the flow, etc.

I feel *everything* but did not know I was an Empath (until 40) and I couldn't tell what was my feelings/emotions vs someone else (nor did I even know that such a thing existed).

Psy put me on anti-depressants at 26 years old. I'm 51 now and went cold turkey at 49.

It was pure hell.

Anti-depressants are like an "emotional/feeling governor:" All the trauma, pain, hurt and everything that happened to me that I couldn't handle emotionally from 26 to 49 was never fully felt.

When I stopped anti-depressants, I was FLOODED with feelings and emotions. 20 years of unfelt feelings/emotions in the 4 months while my Alexithymic fiance did what he could (kept me alive by making sure I was fed, sheltered, but could not comfort me). I really thought I was losing my mind. I'm so angry at the psychiatry profession.

Many empaths get diagnosed as depressed. NO, we just feel everyone else's feelings.

I can't imagine experiencing life and situations w/o emotions/feelings. However, maybe I have experienced it. Example: If something hurtful happens for a long period of time, such as a close friendship where the other person has turned their back on you and you feel (I feel) deep hurt for months and months, I get to a point where I "see" the hurt rather than "feel" the hurt. It's like a coping mechanism.

My husband says he CAN feel, but it's delayed 24-ish hours. Is this the same for you? Ex: If I'm upset or something traumatic happens, he go es into auto-pilot "robot" mode, no emotion, task driven, calm.

He "filters" - this is where I'm suffering deeply. Anything I say that's emotionally charged is "ignored" while non emotional conversation is replied to. I feel neglected and invalidated.

I do believe Alexithymia CAN be "cured" in some cases. It's a coping mechanism to survive a traumatic childhood. Or did you have a different experience?

One last thing: There are no "bad" emotions/feelings. Feelings never lie. We may deny them, but they are our internal guidance system. Happy to talk more about this... (out of character space).
~~~ :-)


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Alexithymia - emotional blindness - is a personality trait characterized by the inability to identify and describe emotions in the self. Core characteristics of alexithymia are marked dysfunction in emotional awareness, social attachment, and interpersonal relationship.
Alexithymia is prevalent in approximately 10% of the general population and is known to be comorbid with a number of psychiatric conditions. Due the inability to cope with feelings and emotions as described in psychology there are counseling services to establish mental health.
Psychologist have argued that the alexithymia construct is strongly related to the concepts of psychological mindedness and emotional intelligence.
These pages should deliver additional information about Alexithymia and offer information for affected persons, relatives and people generally interested in this personality trait.

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