Topic: What's wrong with me?

English Alexithymia Forum > Personal Experience

What's wrong with me?
05.12.2019 by Robin_Brauers

Hi. I'm writing this because i'm worried. I've passed this test on 127 points. Since April 1, i've been going to rehab. I'm clean from cannabis now for 8 months and a bit. During my treatment, and aftefcare i've been talking to my psychiater a lot. I told him even before i went to rehab, some years i only felt emptiness if that makes sense. I could only physically tell if i was experincing fear. Most of the time i feel down, sad or empty. All i have to describe. I can, in almost 100% of the time, never explain how im feeling because i get no signs from my body. I dont recall the last time i laughed like a child. When people around me are laughing, i fake a smile and a laugh, a response i give in a situation emotions are expected. I know my dopamine levels are returning to normal and that this takes time, i just feel like there's something wrong with me. Don't know if i can bring the power and motivation to work on my recovery. Every day i experience emptiness, just bleh and down. Always tired and haven't felt positive emotions in so long. Whenever people are saying: im feeling so grateful, or ive never felt this before etc. I always wonder
What must it be like to feel these things?


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Alexithymia - emotional blindness - is a personality trait characterized by the inability to identify and describe emotions in the self. Core characteristics of alexithymia are marked dysfunction in emotional awareness, social attachment, and interpersonal relationship.
Alexithymia is prevalent in approximately 10% of the general population and is known to be comorbid with a number of psychiatric conditions. Due the inability to cope with feelings and emotions as described in psychology there are counseling services to establish mental health.
Psychologist have argued that the alexithymia construct is strongly related to the concepts of psychological mindedness and emotional intelligence.
These pages should deliver additional information about Alexithymia and offer information for affected persons, relatives and people generally interested in this personality trait.

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