Topic: new member

English Alexithymia Forum > Personal Experience

new member
21.12.2019 by tilmongaddyjr

new member
fort worth Texas
35 years old

my friend brought this site and forum to my attention.i was born healthy. i laughed, smiled, but ive always had problems expressing myself especially when it came to love. im very good at telling other people like friends how much they mean to me but with women its very difficult . i had a good relationship when i was 25. we ended up going our separate ways but she taught me how to express myself and share my feelings. in my next relationships i had no problem with that and i was happy. but something drastic happen in my life. around 28 my girlfriend at the time i believe was pregnant with another person's baby. i couldn't prove it but somethings just didn't add up.she said she lost the baby but i believe she got an abortion. next i went to therapy because i had a hard come staying in relationships which she traced back to mom and the abusive relationships emotionally and physically i endured. after therapy four years to be exact, i felt i was on my way but during this time i met a girl who crushed me again. we were in a good relationship until she got pregnant and decided to have an abortion. she wasn't ready to have one and i believe she was afraid of my emotionally inability to be there for her which hurt a lot because i want to and try to but its very difficult. so here i am now trying to break this last chain that i feel is holding me back in my life from falling in love, getting married, and having a child.

15.07.2022 by User84233M77

that sucks, man, and im sorry that that happened, but i dont think that people like us will truly be understood. if you ever hopefully get into a good relationship, maybe try finding someone who understands what youve been through and is there to support you. perhaps another alexithymiac? (is that even a word?)

if that doesnt work, consider adoption i guess. hope this helps any.