Topic: Relationship

English Alexithymia Forum > Questions and Answers

Relationship
02.02.2020 by User52322P90

Now this might seem a little bit weird but After I have sex, I just want to get away from my girl friend. I’ve never been really sure why that was. Does anyone else have this?

10.02.2020 _T('by') User12327K97

Sometimes I get that. I've also heard about postcoital tristesse or dysphoria. I'm not sure if you meant that you want to get away because you're feeling sad, or if you're just feeling disinterested?

12.02.2020 _T('by') FireNrain

I always relayed the idea of smash and dash as a way of interpreting that you may be attracted to her, but you're truly not in love with whoever you are with (whether this fact is known consciously or subconsciously).

Love is understanding and above all, companionship. This is not exemplified through smash and dash, regardless of any condition.

I understand stepping outside, grabbing a drink, etc., and then returning. If you truly are having sex then dipping out (even considering dipping out) on a regular basis, thats very inconsiderate and rude. You shouldn't do this, even if you have the desire to. A little compassion and self control/reflection should help shed light on this fact.

Remember alexithymia is a condition, not an excuse. We can be very functional people, but everyone can use improvement. For us, we should focus on improving our emotional identities.

24.10.2020 _T('by') User87801K22

I don’t have alexithymia and I sometimes have the same thing. I just need a breather. I’m not the “cuddle and fall asleep in each others arms” type. My husband who has alexithymia seems fine with it. ?‍♀️ everyone is different. Sometimes I send him to another room. Not because I don’t care for him, I just want some rest and space. I think if you just want some space after physical exertion that’s one thing but if you don’t want to be around HER viscerally then you may be uncomfortable with unidentified emotions or just not that into her. It may be rude to some people. Does she take it as rude? Maybe consider the impact of it too.

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