Topic: Working out "real" relationships

English Alexithymia Forum > General Information

Working out "real" relationships
16.11.2020 by User61433B90

I just found out about this trait when once again I was wondering and searching why everybody else is so emotional and I am not.

I realized that I have skipped so many possible partners that showed interest in me because I that I did not feel anything for them. I was waiting that someone I would meet would make me feel something. Since it seems I have this trait, I guess there never will be.

How should you decide your partner? Just start with whomever you wish and move on to better candidates as they are found?

"Better" meaning people who are among other things, more prone to do things as I wish and who can put up with me? I really have hard time believing anyone would stick around for a really long time, even if I wanted them to, unless tricks are played.

What is your key to making a successful relationship? Do you tell about this trait or just play feelings, or tell what I have said when asked about my emotions, something along the lines of "Well not everybody is as emotional as you are" I know it is a verbal attack to the person making the question but I do not use it as badly as it sounds..

What is a relationship without feeling? I just categorize my relationships as a trade. If I get something out of it, I keep it on. If not, it is gone. And I really do not have any in-personal relationships with other people at all. I do help others when it is needed but I do not involve myself with them.

But I do not think you can keep a relationship with someone who is emotionally invested in you and keep it a trade, there must be some higher grade principle there. But if I do not feel like I should continue it and yet do, it becomes a duty and maybe even more morally bankrupt?

Although, after all, is not that the way of normal relationships also, but people just keep on going longer because of emotional investments?

I am not a sociopath, I like to think I place some values higher than myself, but there is some line to be drawn between my life priorities and the other person.


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Alexithymia - emotional blindness - is a personality trait characterized by the inability to identify and describe emotions in the self. Core characteristics of alexithymia are marked dysfunction in emotional awareness, social attachment, and interpersonal relationship.
Alexithymia is prevalent in approximately 10% of the general population and is known to be comorbid with a number of psychiatric conditions. Due the inability to cope with feelings and emotions as described in psychology there are counseling services to establish mental health.
Psychologist have argued that the alexithymia construct is strongly related to the concepts of psychological mindedness and emotional intelligence.
These pages should deliver additional information about Alexithymia and offer information for affected persons, relatives and people generally interested in this personality trait.

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