Topic: I need help! I'm lost and feel alone

English Alexithymia Forum > Personal Experience

I need help! I'm lost and feel alone
20.11.2020 by User38405O75

Hello! I'm 20 years old and scored 167 on the questionnaire. High risk for Alexithymia in all subcategories. I always felt like something was wrong with me because I never understand or feel as if I have thoughts or feelings. The main emotion I feel is frustration. I'm frustrated that I can't feel emotions. Frustrated that I can share my thoughts. Frustrated that I can't tell my Fiancé how I feel about her. Frustrated that I can't hold a conversation with someone. I barely have any friends because of my inability to connect with people on an emotional level. The easiest way for me to communicate with people is through texting/messaging. This way I am able to read through what they're sharing with me at my own pace. I have a hard time remembering what was said while also trying to understand my own thoughts and feelings about the situation. And it's hard for me to open up to people because I don't know how to. Group gatherings are almost easier for me than one on one because there are other people there to help carry the conversation.
How do I overcome this? What can I do to help myself feel and truly understand the emotions I am feeling? How do I prove to my fiancé that I truly love her when I can't tell her why? Please tell me I'm not as alone as I feel I am! Someone help me...please!

13.12.2020 by Katz

I am kind of having similar troubles. I am thinking about trying out with a heart rate monitor. I just saw this idea today. If the monitor reading fluctuates then it proves I am feeling something.
You might as well try out this one. Just show her the heart rate monitor.. and she will think of something by herself.. no need to describe feelings or emotions. That's easier. (It's just my idea. Maybe someone will have better idea. Try it out if there is no other option)