Topic: How do I prove I truly love my partner?

English Alexithymia Forum > Questions and Answers

How do I prove I truly love my partner?
20.11.2020 by User38405O75

Hello! I'm 20 years old and scored 167 on the questionnaire. High risk for Alexithymia in all subcategories. I always felt like something was wrong with me because I never understand or feel as if I have thoughts or feelings. The main emotion I feel is frustration. I'm frustrated that I can't feel emotions. Frustrated that I can share my thoughts. Frustrated that I can't tell my Fiancé how I feel about her. Frustrated that I can't hold a conversation with someone. I barely have any friends because of my inability to connect with people on an emotional level. The easiest way for me to communicate with people is through texting/messaging. This way I am able to read through what they're sharing with me at my own pace. I have a hard time remembering what was said while also trying to understand my own thoughts and feelings about the situation. And it's hard for me to open up to people because I don't know how to. Group gatherings are almost easier for me than one on one because there are other people there to help carry the conversation.
How do I overcome this? What can I do to help myself feel and truly understand the emotions I am feeling? How do I prove to my fiancé that I truly love her when I can't tell her why? Please tell me I'm not as alone as I feel I am! Someone help me...please

21.11.2020 _T('by') User61433B90

I am not sure.

But you will probably get better once you throw yourself into to those situations more often.

I know I rather pass them. I usually keep active for 10-30 minutes and then usually detach, unless topic is fitting.

In the end love is actions, not words.

23.11.2020 _T('by') Alexej

Frustrated that I can't tell my Fiancé how I feel about her.
Are you able to identify what you feel about her? If so tell her what you can identify as best as you can.
You might try writing a poem - since that is something you can write offline and then bring to her

Frustrated that I can't hold a conversation with someone.
Why is it hard to hold a conversation. IMO so much of conversation is polite chit chat and is often quite superficial - is this hard for you?

How do I prove to my fiancé that I truly love her when I can't tell her why? Try telling us here about what you like about her - which might make it easier to tell her face to face.


I don't know if this helps or is offbeam and pisses you off (if so - sorry)

24.11.2020 _T('by') Alexej

I came across a card in my drawer today, which reads

I've spoken to you
so many times in my heart
But never in my words.
I've wanted to,
but I couldn't .
I was afraid
and I still am
but I'm trying
to tell you how
I really feel.
I love you


As I read the card I thought of you and your dilemma

09.12.2020 _T('by') Milkbad

As someone who is "diagnosed", I find that some of what you have mentioned here is a little out of character for Alexi.

You seem to feel a lot about yourself according to your post, which is not something I have experienced myself, I often don't make connections with issues of emotion in my case. Most issues for me are very straight forward or "black & white", unlike some of the things you mention in your post.

Personally, I can only recommend that you find a specialist in Alexi or the Autism Spectrum. They would be able to more properly diagnose you.

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