Topic: I know how to help other people navigate their emotions and I don’t know what that means

English Alexithymia Forum > Questions and Answers

I know how to help other people navigate their emotions and I don’t know what that means
26.02.2022 by User6272ck86

I’ve not been professionally diagnose with Alexa the Mia. I have only leaned of it recently.
I can’t differentiate, identify, or describe my emotions. The closest I can get to identifying them is examining or feeling weird physical feelings and even those are difficult to describe. I can tell the ‘essence’ of them though; I know if what I feel is good or bad.
What confuses me is why I can help other people identify and navigate their emotions. If I can’t do that for myself, im not sure why its easy to do for others. Is this the same for any of you?

01.04.2022 by bolek

When you are talking with others or helping them identify their emotions - can you remember what kind of questions are you using? Basically what kind of process is happening at the time? If you write that process step by step to the best detail you can, and apply that process to yourself, where do you get stuck? If you can identify some physical sensations, is it the "translation" from physical sensations to the emotion/feeling label that is the most difficult?

22.04.2022 by CloudyMentos

I have similar difficulties, and applying the process to myself doesn't get me to the same places.

Externally I can see why or how someone feels, but internally beyond Happy, angry, and indifferent I have a really hard time. Even sad is hard, even when I KNOW I should be feeling it. I'm a peer counselor at work and walk people through how they feel about something or how to navigate it to improve how they feel; which is crazy if you see my Alexithymia scores, but which actually shows less traits for understanding other's emotions. I still step in it all the time at HOME, my wife is rather unpredictable if you ask me (she has ADHD which makes identifying her emotions extra hard, needless to say I don't always understand why she feels what she does, and the quickness with which her feelings change is outstanding.)

But the true difference has always been is it internal and dealing with me, or external and dealing with someone I can observe.

All that is to say, you aren't alone in that, but I don't have an answer either.

26.04.2022 by User6272ck86

I never thought to do that, but it is a brilliant idea. I can’t really remember what questions I ask when I am talking with my friends and helping them sort our their feelings, but I don’t think I always ask the same questions since their situations are usually very different, so that’s probably why. The next few times it happens I will pay attention to the questions that I am asking, ask myself those questions, and see where I get stuck. I think it could be really helpful.
Also, yes, the "translation" from physical sensations to the emotion/feeling label is very difficult for me.

26.04.2022 by User6272ck86

Thank you for sharing. It definitely feels a bit better to know that someone else experiences something so similar, whether I have alexithymia or not (I still don’t know).

06.06.2022 by TigerBaby

I have a theory about this because it’s something I experience as well.

I tend to use more logic when dealing with life whereas most people get stuck when emotions are involved with their difficulties or problems. I think as someone who is or may be alexithymic it’s easier for us to walk others through their experiences and help them to navigate the logical ways to proceed and to resolve their issues because logic is how we navigate the world. While others are flustered and clouded by emotion and essentially blinded to the logical way of dealing with their issues we see more clearly and don’t get bogged down by these blind spots. By asking questions to get an understanding for the situation of another the logical steps of resolve are clear and concise to someone like us. Ergo it’s easier for us to help others navigate life.

Who knows maybe alexithymia is just the next step on the evolutionary scale of human beings? Please remember this is just a theory and I’m just another person on a forum, no one special. This is just my own opinion although I am fairly confident that I’m correct take what you want and leave the rest.