Topic: My personal experience

English Alexithymia Forum > Personal Experience

My personal experience
20.06.2013 by MizRandomness

I have realized recently that I am unable to experience any emotions. I believe it all started 6 months ago when I became intimate with an individual who just wanted a friends with benefits type of relationship. At first I was reluctant to share myself. One day, after getting laid off from my job and losing my apartment, I decided to give in to the sexual aspect of the relationship. I made sure I advised the individual that they were not my friend, and that I was just having sex for the hell of it. After that experience, I felt like I could have sex with the world, since it was one without emotions. It was the first time that I had sex without attachment and emotion, and after that my emotions disappeared. I also became disgusted with that person each time I would share the experience again, until I decided I no longer wanted part of it. Now, they want to have a romantic relationship with me.

My experience
28.07.2013 by brittnm08

Hello, I've also realized that I cannot express myself emotionally. I've been fighting with my girlfriend for months now, over the same stupid things but I never realized what she was saying until now. She says that I'm emotionally abusive, cold hearted, and I never talk. I know that I love her, but I have no idea how to express it towards her. I don't know how to express myself in any emotional situation. I just lost my dad a few months ago, and it hurts till this day. However I feel I have to stay strong for my mom now, and I hate to show any kind of weakness. I hate to cry by myself or with others. Now I feel anger, and I will lose my temper at the slightest little situation and not know what really is causing the route of my anger. I feel like a different person now. I'm only 23 years old, but I feel dead to the world because I no longer know who I am. I don't know how to start expressing myself, or figuring who I am.

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