Topic: Don't like most babies and don't miss anyone

English Alexithymia Forum > Personal Experience

Don't like most babies and don't miss anyone
06.03.2014 by samum637

Hello,

I recently noticed that I don't have this thing called "missing someone". I haven't seen my mom for more than two years, my dad for more than three years, my siblings for more than that, and I don't miss any of them. Is that normal?

Another thing, I don't like most babies and children, for no reason. I try to convince myself that this is a poor innocent beautiful child, but I can't FEEL anything towards them, this has changed a bit after I got my own child, but still I feel a tiny bit of love for a child only after I remind myself with my own child. Is anybody here like me?

Babies and Missing people
21.03.2014 _T('by') ArcticFox

I get that. I don't coo over babies and don't feel anything towards them. My own son is a different case but I'd never have been a mum (British) until I was caught out, as I have no other maternal instinct. I ended a relationship last year as I don't want another child and my ex was, to me at least, baby-obsessed.

And although we had a great 18 months together, I've no recourse to 'missing' him. It's just like closing a book in my head. It was and is the same when all personal relationships have ended, including my eight-year marriage. I don't think I'm cold, I get on with people very well and have always worked in roles that depend highly on my ability for personal communication. (This is in a non-emotive capacity though!) I guess other people's responses to my 'behaviour' have informed me otherwise...

I have found a bereavement unbelievably difficult to deal with, it was my aunt and she was like a mum to me. I just get confused as I don't know if I've responded in the socially acceptable ways to losing someone - either death or ending a relationship :(

Me too....
06.03.2015 _T('by') DXS

I don't "miss" people. The only thing I "miss" is animals. When my pet cat had to be in the hospital overnight, I "missed" my cat. My father died years ago, I don't miss him. I didn't cry at his funeral. My sister got mad at me. So I thought of things like cruelty to animals just to make myself cry.

I consider "family" to be an "obligation" not a "want to." When I was in college, I couldn't figure out why all the students in my dorm were so excited to go "home" for Christmas. I did not want to. And at the end of the college year, I applied for and took a job I knew I would hate just to not have to go "home" for the summer.

I recently saw the movie "Wild" (Reese Witherspoon) and I burst into tears at the end of the movie. I have no idea why I cried.

Oh yeah
06.03.2015 _T('by') DXS

I made a decision at age 12 not to marry or have kids. People kept saying I would change my mind. I never did. Don't regret it.

I had fun being a substitute teacher after retirement from my regular career.

never said "aaah"
10.03.2015 _T('by') Franmail

When I was a kid we used to have films in the hall on a Friday afternoon. When cute baby animals were shown everyone would say "aaaaaaah!", and I would sit there wondering why. I do it now because I know it's expected but I wouldn't do it by myself. My daughter when she was younger used to show me pictures of kittens and things and be squirming around with "cute overload" and I would smile and pretend to feel the same way without feeling a thing. I just always thought it was because I'm not girly enough. But now I guess it must be Alexi, I know lots of guys that can get the same attack of cuteness.

I can also relate to not missing people. There are people I like/love and I can look forward to seeing people who I like, but I don't miss them. I don't know what it would feel like to miss someone.

missing
10.03.2015 _T('by') DXS

I can also relate to not missing people. There are people I like/love and I can look forward to seeing people who I like, but I don't miss them. I don't know what it would feel like to miss someone.

I know what the "missing someone" FEELING is. I "miss" my pet when it has to spend a night in a pet hospital. But, I never "missed" family or anyone else. When it came to romantic relationships, I didn't "miss" them so much as I was more wondering if they were "doing something they shouldn't" when they were out of my site. Trust issue.

Don't miss people
10.05.2015 _T('by') cardgame

I can relate to this. I rarely see my extended family. I like when I do visit them, but if you told me you can never see them again, I really wouldn't care. I know I should care, but I don't.

I have 2 kids and they are obviously extremely important to me but again they don't live with me and if I could not seem them for an extended period of time, it would not bother me at all. Again I know that makes me look heartless and mean but its what it is. I can't change that. And everyone always get mad at you for not being able to feel what you are suppose to feel. We sorry, but that is just the way it is. I wish people around us would try to understand that. I know I would rather be more normal in my feeling so that I could relate more, but it is just not happening.

same cases
12.05.2015 _T('by') Bhaskar13

i havent seen my best buddies and my amiky in months and i dont really miss them.
also im really cold with children, even my own young cousins

Same here
02.06.2015 _T('by') panteau

I move around often and make few friends. Therefore, I live hundreds of miles from most of my "friends." I have not spoken with most of them in years, now, and I do not "feel" like I miss them. Perhaps I would enjoy seeing them again, but I have no preference either way. I live hundreds of miles from any family, too, and I love it. We talk on the phone a few times a year and I see them at weddings and funerals. It is good to hear from them--friends or family--to know that they are in good health because, generally speaking, it is logical to be in good health rather than in poor health.

As for children, I have absolutely never wanted to raise a family, and here is why: the world already has enough humans to make more humans to continue on the species. Furthermore, there are thousands of children throughout the world who are in need of parents. Even if I had personal interest in raising a child, why would I not adopt one who already exists? But, then again, I have never had personal interest in raising a family.

However, I do work with children. I tutor and teach piano lessons. I treat them all like young adults. For many reasons, I do not coddle them or dumb-down my speech for them--one of those reasons being that I feel nothing toward them.

And, by the way, I'm not sorry that I don't feel what I'm "supposed" to feel. Who's to say that the majority is right, just because they're the majority?

Problem with "love"
04.06.2015 _T('by') DXS

I have a problem with "love." I LOVE my pets and I feel true love for them. But I feel no love for my family. they are just an "obligation" to me. So are friends, an "obligation."

I'm with Sheldon Cooper on Big Bang Theory. "You didn't give me a gift, you gave me an obligation. Now I have to get a gift that costs the same and reflects the same friendship value your gift showed." (or something like that....)

Login