Topic: Reactions

English Alexithymia Forum > Personal Experience

08.03.2014 by Lex-G

I am wondering if anyone else has trouble reacting to things that are 'important' to others but are not to you?

To elaborate - multiple times in my life people have told me 'good' or 'profound' or 'bad' news like they have a new job, we're going on holiday, my sister died etc etc. The problem arises when I don't react in the 'right' way. For example, my parent will ask 'Are you exited about going abroad?!' and I'll just shrug or say not really or something. I've noticed this lack of appropriate reaction tends to bother people but I don't get why. Sometimes things get so confusing I feel a weird sensation in my chest like a tight knot or something.

10.05.2014 _T('by') ChadP

I've recently broke up with my girlfriend. I had no emotional reaction to that while she broke down in front of me begging for me to not end it.

10.05.2014 _T('by') ChadP

Before the break up we'd had numberous fights such as my reaction to not wanting to be with her when she went to visit her grandfathers grave. (I felt like it wasn't my place to be there.) or my reaction to her new job opportunity.

Same thing
01.09.2014 _T('by') Toxophile

I had the same reaction when I left my 2nd wife. I found out she was cheating again, so when she got home, I calmly told her to get the hell out. She begged and pleaded, and I didn't know how to react, so I didn't.

Me too
06.03.2015 _T('by') DXS

I have had this happen. I have been told I wasn't "reacting" the "right" way. I may have been genuinely happy about something, but since I didn't give the "intensity" of reaction, huh?

When my father died, my sister got mad at me for not crying. I felt NOTHING. So, to appease my sister, I had to think of something horrible like cruelty to animals so I could make myself cry.

Join the club
06.03.2015 _T('by') Alan1945

Yes, I also have been accused of not having the 'right' response to what others consider as tragic or ecstatically wonderful events. I guess it;'s just how we are and it's for people to take us or leave us as they find us. I also believe that there's a tendency these days to eliminate the 'warm' and everything has to be 'hot' or 'cold'. I find this tendency interesting (well, you wouldn't really expect me to get either excited or despondent about it would you? Lol) but it seems to be just how the world is.