Topic: Sexual Feelings/Behavior

English Alexithymia Forum > Alexithymie Questionnaire

Sexual Feelings/Behavior
29.03.2014 by ttme123

I noticed that on the questionnaire there was a section about "Sexual Difficulties and Disinterest" and that I scored "some alexithymic traits" on that, while I scored "high alexithymic traits" on everything else.

Basically, what's the general alexithymic viewpoint on this, like how does the test score this part?
Also, what are everyone else's feelings on this topic?

For me, personally, I can enjoy sex (for the physical pleasure) but I don't see any emotional attachment when it cones to sex. Also, I don't like any physical contact aside from sexual ones (mostly because I see no point, beause I have no emotional response.) And although this likely falls into another category, I sometimes feel lonely but don't wasn't affection or social interaction.

My point of view
03.04.2014 by MadBeach

Sex can be functional, or emotional... or both, or... Sometimes, sadly... neither.

As long as you're safe and don't hurt yourself or anyone else...?

Sex was something very different to me when me and my head were in a different place. I have no regrets , because it would never occur to me to do that. Not unless someone told me I should. I made careful choices and that doesn't mean I judge anyone who didn't. Write frankly, what business of that is mine?

Choose well because it can affect you forever. In a dying of HIV way, in a way that requires feeding and things for EVER, in all ways.

Good luck.

Agree with OP
08.06.2014 by sess

I'm pretty much the same as ttme123. I enjoy sex but have never really felt emotional about it. I have never been a 'touchy' person. For a long time I felt really uncomfortable hugging people, even friends. however, after discussing these sort of things with close friends, I've come to realise that hugging is very important for some people and I've been able to force myself to not be so uncomfortable with it now.
I still 'crave' sex and sexual contact, even just a bit of spooning, sometimes (hormones!) but never in a emotional, relationship-y way.

update, kinda
17.06.2014 by ttme123

The first time I took the test I got "some alexthymic traits" but I recently re-took it and got "high alexithymic traits" (now all of mine are "high".) As far as I'm aware the only difference is that I'm now more uncomfortable and unsure of myself. I still view sex as a process that doesn't have to do with emotions, and I still don't like physical contact (hugs, holding hands, kissing, etc.) to the point that I think I'm probably aromantic. I can, like sess, force myself into hugging people for their benefit, but it still makes me incredibly uncomfortable.
(I also apologize for spelling errors in all of my posts, my computer is pretty shitty so I make all of these posts via my phone, which doesn't really allow me to look back and check for errors.)

pointless and strange
19.10.2014 by lemw

I dont know, I just find the whole sex this pointless. I get why sex is desirable (if thats the right word for it) but I dont see the point emotionally or physically it just seems weird, yeah I understa d hormones and I get weird feelings but its sort of not appealing because it just doesnt make sense. I've tried multiple but it felt weird and the feelings were odd

pointless
14.01.2015 by KTDarkness

I dont know, I just find the whole sex this pointless...........I've tried multiple but it felt weird and the feelings were odd
i have "high alexithymic traits" and i totally agree with you!

confusion
17.02.2015 by quitesimply

Yeah, I've considered myself aromantic for a while now. I don't ever feel any romantic attachment to anyone, really, or even any strong platonic emotions. I just don't feel a lot of emotional attachment to people in general. When it comes to having sex, well, I can say that I haven't had it, and don't feel any strong desire to other than to just see what it's like. I can't imagine it ever being a big part of my life. I really don't understand why people build it up to be so amazing? People act like it's the single most important thing in the world and I just don't understand it.

confusion
17.02.2015 by quitesimply

Yeah, I've considered myself aromantic for a while now. I don't ever feel any romantic attachment to anyone, really, or even any strong platonic emotions. I just don't feel a lot of emotional attachment to people in general. When it comes to having sex, well, I can say that I haven't had it, and don't feel any strong desire to other than to just see what it's like. I can't imagine it ever being a big part of my life. I really don't understand why people build it up to be so amazing? People act like it's the single most important thing in the world and I just don't understand it.

update... again
17.02.2015 by ttme123

Sorry if it seems like I keep changing my mind; the more I learn about sexuality the more specific I get. I used to think I was either a weird bisexual or a shitty asexual until I found out about autochorissexuality.
Autochorissexuality is kind of hard to describe, so I'm gonna describe how it is or me and how it can differ. I still get horny (most asexuals do, too) and (unlike many asexuals) find sex/sexual acts arousing/erotic. However, I don't feel any desire to partake in them. For instance, I masturbate and visualize sex as two people having sex/doing whatever, and I'm like a bystander. It's all 3rd person, and I find them doing whatever to be arousing but I don't wish to be either of them--I don't wish to have sexual acts performed on me and I don't wish to perform them on someone else. The two (or more, I suppose) people can be whomever the allochorissexual person finds sexually attractive, be it fictional characters, celebrities, or people they know in real life. In some cases, one of them may actually be the allochorissexual person themself, but the person still views it in 3rd person perspective, and disaccociates.
In my case, the sexes of the two (or more) people don't matter, which is why I thought I might be bisexual. For some people they do, for some they don't. One can always add prefixes like one would with asexual (so grey-asexual becomes grey-allochorisexual).
There is also a romantic equivalent: allochorisromantic.

I apologize, as always, for any spelling mistakes or any other flaws; I'm typing this on my phone and it doesn't always work out well.

Oops
17.02.2015 by ttme123

One major mistake I noticed was my phone trying to autocorrect the name of the sexuality. To be clear it is "autochorissexuality."
I noticed the phone trying to change it the first few times but then stopped paying attention.
Sorry again.

Kind of agree
05.03.2015 by faigelable

Though I may partake in all that romance malarkey I've never really had any burning desires to kiss or have sex. I'm comfortable enough to go along with it but I'm never the one leading. And when it's sort of my turn to, it takes a lot out of me. I never realised that this alexithymia stuff goes so deep. Writing this is making me really uncomfortable.

Turn it on, turn it off.
06.03.2015 by DXS

I'm more of a....... turn it on, turn it off person. I think there is a name for it, demi-sexual. If I have a relationship, I "turn it on." When I'm not in a relationship, I "turn it off." (Don't need it.) It's like..... I have control of the "switch" and can turn it on or off.

Sometimes I wonder if I am "genuinely faking it."

Dispassionate Passion
10.03.2015 by OldUnc64

Being fifty certainly changes one's ideas about the value of sex. If I had taken this questionnaire thirty years ago my answers about sex would have differed greatly from today. Now I am at a stage where I can try and figure out what is so special about sex outside of raging hormones. Are men motivated by narcissism to do the deed? Are women motivated for reproductive reasons? In the words of an old song, "What does love have to do with it?" One thing that is different now than thirty years ago is the ubiquity of sexual performances available twenty four hours a day. Watching these performances could lead to an erosion of confidence and unrealistic expectations of how sex is under the normal curve. I'm glad I had the opportunity to take the survey and leave this rambling post. I respond a lot better to questions than generating content on my own. Ask any questions...

Reproduction? NOOOOOOO
12.03.2015 by DXS

As a female, it wasn't about reproduction for me. I never wanted children, knew it since I was 12. For me it was more about..... the guy wanted it, therefore, I "should" participate. It was like an obligation, but I faked the enthusiasm.

This is making me think...
02.04.2015 by DBoss

Am not the hugging, holding hands and all that sort type but a little into kissing. When i think or read or hear or see sex, sometimes i feel like partaking in it just to know what it's all about, how it feels and to have a real practical knowledge about it. I want something different from the usual hear, read, see and think stuff.

After all is been said and done, I find out that there is no enthusiasm, fun or pleasure in me about the whole sex as it is been broadcasted. Am just like WTF is this sex all about?

I think I'm more or less addicted vs attracted to sex
17.04.2015 by sdmj63

I've personally always enjoyed sex and cosistently want to partake in it but have never felt more or less attached to anyone I've had it with I've felt exactly the same in all my relationships. I usually date beneath me because I crave affection, I think it's because I don't really understand what it means to love/be loved. But in terms of sex it's purely physical and if I'm not having sex I'm usually participating in some other addictive behavior. I think that's what drives me more then any emotional relationship.

sexy talk and all that
31.07.2015 by 4rch0n4n6313

I get horny, but i dont like sex..like...I dont get the whole orgasm thing I could live without it...its not really even that intense...and for most of the sex Im not even really"there" Im pretending to be someone else...It feels good...sometimes and kinda...but mostly its just too much. But I do it anyway cause Im married...cause he wanted to marry me....

Take it or leave it
04.08.2015 by DXS

I found something called "demi sexual." This means you like it when you have a partner but when you don't have a partner you can live without it. This describes me. It's like..... I can turn it on or off.

Recreational/Procreational/Spiritual/Deeply felt
28.09.2015 by lawrence18uk

Here are a few possibililties about sex, it was difficult for me to decide which Qu.6 what referring to.

Also. I don't remember having much in the way of "raging hormones" when I was young. But that might explain why I thought others were behaving a bit stupidly when in the teen/20s age.

Cravings then nothing...
13.12.2015 by ToniRose92

I have a high alexi score also high in the sexual section... I actually really like sex but only sometimes... I have gone periods where i had sex everyday for months sometimes multiple days and then other times where I have gone months without wanting any... like not i think its been over a year.. and its not that i havent had the chance but i currently just dont see the point in it. My friends think its so weird I have one friend that is a "slut" she calls herself that and she has sex as often as she can which is totally fine and when I was having sex all the time she thought i was normal but now everytime she sees me she says"so you done the nasty lately?" and everytime i say no she asks if i want to be hooked up and i say no .... sex is so iffy for me ... sometimes a hell yes and other times .... no why?

demi sexual
24.12.2015 by DXS

I think I fit what is called "Demi sexual." When there is a partner in my life, I like sex. When there is no one, I could not care less.


Login





Legal Info | Terms | Privacy

Alexithymia - emotional blindness - is a personality trait characterized by the inability to identify and describe emotions in the self. Core characteristics of alexithymia are marked dysfunction in emotional awareness, social attachment, and interpersonal relationship.
Alexithymia is prevalent in approximately 10% of the general population and is known to be comorbid with a number of psychiatric conditions. Due the inability to cope with feelings and emotions as described in psychology there are counseling services to establish mental health.
Psychologist have argued that the alexithymia construct is strongly related to the concepts of psychological mindedness and emotional intelligence.
These pages should deliver additional information about Alexithymia and offer information for affected persons, relatives and people generally interested in this personality trait.

This webpage does not intended to diagnose or cure any disease or symptom.
No part of this website should be construed as a promise of healing.