Topic: Can you relate?

English Alexithymia Forum > Personal Experience

Can you relate?
22.05.2014 by koobahcoon

So I used to hang out with my friend after school and I clearly remember her telling me that is seems like all I care about is myself. I felt hurt because in a way, I felt it to be true. When she told me about her relationship issues, I didn't know what to do but nod and keep listening.

Then there's today. I have a girlfriend and this afternoon I had gotten a bit frustrated while painting something and she and my other friend continued to try and mess me up. Drawing/painting is my way of releasing any stress and it bothers me when people move me on purpose. I stayed quiet afterwards, and my girlfriend got mad because I didn't know what to say. I'm being honest; I truly didn't know what to blurt out. I felt lost and unable to speak. Then, I got up to wash the paintbrushes, I came back to try to talk to her. She told me to leave her alone, and again I was speechless. I wish I said something, but it's so hard to speak up when I'm feeling trapped or caged.

There has also been an incident this week with another friend. She broke up with someone and I was probably the only one to not ask her how she felt because I couldn't manage to ask or say anything, considering I didn't know how to feel about her breakdown.