Topic: Help?

English Alexithymia Forum > Personal Experience

25.06.2014 by millieeann

So I'm 17 an recently decided to take this test just because people are constantly making me aware of the fact that I just appear to not give a shit about anything. I have constantly been told over the years by my close friends and my family to open up to them because I just never talk about any of my feelings causing them to worry about me.
I don't talk about my feelings because I don't have any. I literally don't care about anything which I find can be a blessing and a curse. Someone can betray me and I can only hold a grudge for a day maximum, after that I don't care and I know I should be mad at them, but it's actually more of a struggle to be angry than it is for things to just be normal. But my lack of caring causes me to have little motivation to do anything, and I mean anything. I try to think of how I feel, but its nothing, I 100% just do not seem to care?
However, every now and again I find that I'll get moments where I start to feel EVERYTHING at once and just feel so shit, it's like every tiny thing that someone does effects me. Also, I'll get times where I just feel so incredibly angry at everyone and want nothing to do with them, everything anyone ever says or does just fills me with rage and I really struggle to make any form of conversation.
I just wanted to explain all this to see whether you think I really am Alexithymic or just some stupid teenager.. Anyone?

I feel you
25.06.2014 _T('by') AC

I felt pretty much like you say when I was 18 - and then I wasn't sure. Even now I'm not sure. My brains seems fine when concentrating on something or doing something mindless. But otherwise yeah. One thing I can suggest is you can try counting the emotions you do feel - and comparing it against the emotions your other peers seem to feel.
I really can't help you much though. If I could - I wouldn't be alexithymic myself.