Topic: Confrontation Issues

English Alexithymia Forum > Personal Experience

Confrontation Issues
05.07.2014 by tigerpuff246

Hi. My name is Courtney. I am relatively new to hearing all this information about Alexithymia. I took the questionnaire yesterday, and my results were 'high alexithymic traits' in every category, which I had pretty much expected. Most of the description of Alexithymia fits me pretty well (very logical thinker, really no imagination, no drive-fulfillment), so I pretty much diagnosed myself.

One of the main problems I have is when confrontation occurs. Whether we are in an angry or sad state, the person on the other side of the confrontation says everything they are feeling, but I can't seem to be able to say anything. I just clam up and literally do not say anything. It's not that I don't want to tell my side of the story or get my points across because I really do, but it's like I am not physically able to do that. My mind races the entire time with everything I would like to say, but it won't come out. This only occurs with the people I'm closest to, like my mom and my boyfriend. It is very frustrating and has caused a lot of heartache. Everybody tells me that I'm just being immature, but I know it has to be more than that.

Please tell me that I'm not the only one who experiences this.

100% agree
19.07.2014 _T('by') georgia666

I am literally exactly the same when it comes to confrontation and arguments, I get labelled as a sulky teenager when really I am just clueless as to what I should say/do, and I often will do things that I think I should do or say, if that makes sense? I'm so glad I found this forum, and I'm really impressed that people are able to explain how they feel in such detail. It's like I hit a wall, and it's just so confusing that my mind wont let me go there. If I'm trying to explain it, i feel like there's so much to explain and I cant think of how to put it into words, and I worry the person gets bored waiting as i waffle. I will for a split second have the sentence in my head, then when i try to word it out, it's gone, and I give up trying, and stop caring, and also worry that the person doesnt really care or worry what they'll think of me if i say it, or what i'm saying is unnecessary or something.

01.09.2014 _T('by') Toxophile

One of the worst feelings is trying to explain how I feel to my wife and the words just won't come. Finally, she gives up and starts to walk away. I try to call her back because I don't want her to leave, but I physically cannot. She thinks I just don't care. I know I do. Now we are divorcing. :-(

06.03.2015 _T('by') DXS

I hate it when the other person says all this stuff and I am just shell shocked and cannot respond.

Lack of understanding other emotions.
08.03.2015 _T('by') Greco777

Hello my name is James and my biggest issue is that I lack the ability to feel or understand other peoples emotions. Usually much later after a big fight has happened I go damn what have I done, it is just so hard for it to register when others are suffering. I am one track minded and only see from my side, its very frustrating too when you are really trying to listen but it just does not register. I have hurt a lot of people I think.