Topic: Tell someone:

English Alexithymia Forum > Personal Experience

Tell someone:
07.11.2014 by ChadP

To some this up before typing out my longer post. My advise is: Tell someone "I have alexithymia". This will make you feel less "in the dark" about things, this opens up doors for help and understanding, rather than you faking your "emotions".

I was talking to my girlfriend today, we've been through a lot, broken up 10 times in the span of 7 months, mostly because of my inability to cope with emotional conflict.
I showed her this thread:
and said "Sound familiar" her response : "OMG. YES!"

This is our conversation:
Her: Both brandon and darian (My two best friends.) did say you have a "dont give a fuck" attitude about literally everything..

Me: Because it's true..
I'm 95% sure that this is what it is.
So you're like overly emotional, and I'm extremely limited in my own emotions, and understanding of others emotions.

Her: I read another article that wasn't wiki. I agree that you have this disorder.

Me: I found a forum for alexithymia, does this sound familiar?
Both posts

Her: OMG. YES.
Awesome! There's not a medical treatment so.talking to Dr.martin (Her therapist) would be useless.
I think this is something we can work on together, Im up for the challenge.

Me: You've been at the challenge for 7 months now.

Her: Yeah but I didn't really think you had this.
I just thought you were a dick.

Me: I told you I had this months ago.

Her: Didn't believe you honestly...
I'm sorry. I should've listened..

Me: "difficulty identifying feelings and distinguishing between feelings and the bodily sensations of emotional arousal"
Thats the sinking feeling I get in my stomach when I know I should feel emotion but instead I "swallow" it.
The bodily sensations of emotional arousal.

Her: We'll work on identifying that and how to not "swallow" it

Me: I've been at the point where I wanted to cry, but just kept feeling the sensations and continuously swallowed it, even when I WANTED to cry. I couldn't.
When I get mad or seem to over react, i'm mainly mad at myself for not knowing why I'm mad..
That's why I never have much to say
I'm mad at myself for not knowing why I'm mad, but continuing to convey the emotion of being mad anyway.

Her: Is being alone what helps you when you get mad?

Me: Honestly, yes. And honestly, when you have left me alone, I've always come to the conclusion that I'm being stupid, and that I'm mad for no reason.
But then after all I do in the moment, I feel stupid if I don't continue to express that same emotion afterwards.
Which would turn into periods of time where I would lay in bed, mad, and not say anything

Her: Okay. Well look, now we have an understand about what's going on. I'll leave you alone, but you have to come to me after you're calm and we can pretend like nothing happened.
There's no reason to feel stupid.
I'm not going to judge you anymore.

Me:Thank you so much, this conversation has honestly connected a lot of things that I questioned before.