Topic: Incapable of understanding and expressing my own ideas and feelings.

I'm having a great problem in communicating with others when they did not understand most of my ideas as they try to elaborate it repeatedly which makes me more irritating. I do used to draw simple diagrams or images then explaining it carefully until they understand what I'm saying. sometimes I'm having a difficulty of speaking to the way that I turned myself shut(which was there are something on my mind but I'm incapable to express it verbally) until there is someone who try to guess whats on it(that person who knows me better) and capable to explain it elaborately to other until they get those things on my mind.

for my emotions I'm having a difficulty of expressing it. for example: when someone do bad thing to me I firstly ignored it then days later when I recalled it I get myself angry to that person, I know its not right to feel it as I set to my mind to make myself move on but I still felt the anger from that person. as for this I used to tricked myself (I used to laughed) just to relieved this feeling and move on.

when I'm sleeping I got some random dreams but I always hear different kind of voices out of nowhere whispering to my ears which I always used my earphones with a loud music to make myself fall asleep.

I'm having a problem in terms of understanding the Idea of other people. they always set an example before I completely understand their ideas.

I get irritated when they asking me for some questions regarding of what I feel for some things, specially when they asking me about my family background or for the other stuff (if the situation was not having a pen and paper for drawing stuff that will make them understand those things on my mind).

I hope you understand it well but I wish that there would be a ways to help me from this problem?
no one knows that i'm having this problem and i don't want any of my family or friends will know it as I know that anyone like me would possibly understand it. thanks