Topic: I'm glad it's not just me!

English Alexithymia Forum > Personal Experience

I'm glad it's not just me!
19.02.2015 by Katy

Hi all :)

I'm so glad to have stumbled across this page! It's so helpful to be able to fully understand what is going on within myself.

To me, also having very mild aspergers, the world is very 'black and white'. I have very little understanding of the emotions of others, and how/why the things I say have the effect that they do - simply because I don't identify that emotion within myself and find it hard to recognise in others. Growing up, I have learnt that some things are acceptable and others aren't, although why this is the case still eludes me! I was kind of just starting to think I was just a bit of a cold hearted bitch - even though I am very warm and try to do nice things to the people I care about (ffamily because I have no close friends), I struggle to understand what they feel and even identify things such as 'llove' in myself; I either care or I don't.

I think that is about the crux of it for me - the lack of strong emotions. I am either happy or unhappy, I care or I don't, there isn't really any in between or anything more or less, I think other people find this strange.

I also struggle a lot with romantic relationships; how do I identify whether I care about someone or not? And if I do enter into a 'rrelationship' they don't last long, normally because I don't really feel anything towards them. I would like to be close to someone and have them understand me, but the appearance of indifference doesn't exactly make them want to stay! It's not that I don't think I could care about someone, just that I have such a hard time identifying what I'm feeling, by the time I know what's going on they're long gone. Any help in this area would be greatly appreciated!

Thank you & have a good day!

Me too
06.03.2015 _T('by') DXS

I also struggle a lot with romantic relationships; how do I identify whether I care about someone or not?

Boy, can I relate to this. As soon as I find out someone "likes" me, I don't know what to do with it. I just figure, "I'm SUPPOSED to like them back, so I manufacture the 'feelings' but they aren't real. I guess I am more "in love" with the fact that someone actually liked me!

I don't even try to figure out if I actually DO like them.

My relationships lasted about 2-3 years each. But in my later years, I had two short ones, both about six months. It's because I am learning to stop "faking" and try to "feel."