10.04.2015 by Lodk
I am writing this after finding this site while looking for information on emotionless states. I have had this conversation with my therapist about not knowing things about feelings.(fear, sad, anxiety ect:. I have OCPD (just look it up if your not sure what it is) but I ask her what things should feel like. I dont understand death and all the sadness that goes with it. I know we are all going to die sometime so not sure if the tears are really for the person that died or if for the ones still alive and the fact that they will be without them now. In 50 years I have lost only one thing that meant something to me and that was my dog. how did I feel, like a failure do to the fact he was only 9 months old and died on my watch it was my responsibility to protect him and I failed. this mixed everything up for me. so its not that I was sad because he died but more anger at the world because I would miss him and that's about it. The feelings then was selfish anger. that was the only emotion I could put a finger on.
Let taking it down a notch OK, let look at a hug. My first thought is Big Bang Theory's Sheldon Copper and how he reacts trying and do a hug. Never feeling quite comfortable with it and all that's me in a nut shell. The other side if the coin is what I call the Spock factor. explained like this "if it has no physical purpose its a waste of time".example: crying, what good comes of it? I mean really it must serve a reason to do something right. would someone move a pile of rocks just because they felt they world wanted them to, no. I can laugh with you thanks to the medication but that's the only reason without it yeah not so much. I can get angry because its a primal instinct to protect us when harm is imminent.
With that little peace out I will end with this. I have no feeling one way or the other about feelings. they make as much sense to me as quantum physics. I dont get anything out of a hug a kiss or even the "how you doing" salutations.
A Hug = ???? confustion