Topic: The feeling of nothing...

I cried when my dog died when I was a child. And when my cat recently died a week ago, I cried and cried. But I didn't cry at my father's funeral. I just didn't feel any sort of "attachment" to my father.

"Family" to me is "a unit of people you were born into and thusly you have obligations toward." I think this is more of a statement about my family than about Alexithymia.

First off: I am very glad that I have finally managed to find out why I feel what I feel, i.e. not much.

For some reason I can only seem to have any conscious emotions when animals are involved. So far they have been the only reason why I have ever consciously felt blissfully happy or really sad.

People... less so. The first time I got the idea that I was different was when I was leaving my parents for several months to go to another country/continent. They were all crying and upset etc but inside I felt absolutely nothing. I thought I was completely emotionless until I started crying as well - and I had no clue why!

That is when I started suspecting that there was a lot more going on inside of me than I was aware of.
It does feel rather strange, more like a marionette that is played by an invisible puppeteer rather than a robot, as I have read people describe alexithymia.
The major problem I have is that I can never really tell how I am reacting to a situation, as I outwardly might look enthusiastic/happy/sad etc while not actually feeling any of it and that I am sometimes feeling sad or elated without actually having any clue why.

I also do not know why so far animals have been the only ones to elicit any empathy in me. Show me a charity ad featuring abused or deprived kids - I feel nothing; show me a charity ad for abused animals and my heart bleeds.

At least now I can do some further research into this and try to understand myself better.

I also do not know why so far animals have been the only ones to elicit any empathy in me. Show me a charity ad featuring abused or deprived kids - I feel nothing; show me a charity ad for abused animals and my heart bleeds.

Me too. I cry and cry and have to turn the channel when I see ads for cruelty to animals. However, the children ads, nothing..........

I felt exactly this way until I had my own child. She is the only thing I'm really able to have particularly strong feelings about. Oh, and I cried a river when my old cat passed away last year.

I am told being involved in a traumatic experience as a child or witnessing such can often lead to this mistrust or disconnection with human emotions. Animals always offer genuine affection unless of course they have suffered human abuse in the past as well

I used to work as a veterinarian and often had to do euthanasia. The owners of the animals always used to cry. The only thought I used to have was the perception of how peaceful the animal looks once it dies. I never understood why no one else saw it and why does it not bring any comfort to the owners.

The major problem I have is that I can never really tell how I am reacting to a situation, as I outwardly might look enthusiastic/happy/sad etc while not actually feeling any of it and that I am sometimes feeling sad or elated without actually having any clue why.

This is it, basically. I fake it when I feel I need to, then there are situations where I "feel" something but can't "name" it.

Actually, I didn't get to see this, as my cat was on the table with it's back toward me. I didn't get to see it's face. Now I wish I had looked at it's face. Aw man, I missed something!

When my hamsters died, I was not sad. It's the same when my grandmother died, I just said "She's been sick for a while. It's the circle of life". I am actually close to my grandmother, she practically raised me

This sort of response makes my family think I'm a sociopath. My cat was bitten by a snake and died when I was away, and since I was fond of the cat, they thought I would be upset. The fact is we lived in a wilderness area, there was a high population of snakes, the possibility was there that she would be bitten, it was a natural and understandable happenstance. She was a nice cat, but that's life.
The feeling of nothing to me is my favourite. A kind of cheerful neutral, where things can get done and experiences can be had in a clear, engaged manner. It is a feeling of stability and ease.