Topic: Discomfort with emotions I do have

Something happened recently that caused me emotional feelings.
And I distinctly did not like it. I'm not sure if the feelings were positive, negative, or something else outside the polaric binary I'm similarly unaware of, or the names of these states, but the fact was that ANY emotion, no matter its classification, makes me uncomfortable. I think the encounter also held some expectation for me to feel and relay similar emotions as my counterpart, but I only realised this about an hour after the incident.
Ordinarily, I operate at a void. A kind of cheerful neutral.
Through time, I have learned to simulate outward emotions, but inside, homeostasis usually continues.
I know a lot of alexithymic people dislike being this way, and seek ways to change, to make themselves emotionally capable. I understand that emotionally I am less involved than most - but the point is even when I do encounter my own emotional experience, I dislike it. I want to return to neutrality as soon as I can and avoid circumstances likely to excite anything else.
Is that making any sense? Essentially, I don't want to change. I'd actually rather increase the tendency, as ANY emotion at all feels immediately and completely overwhelming for me. Feeling anything other than neutral feels foreign and undesirable and I want it to stop.
Opinions?