30.05.2016 by Vixou
I've recently took the test and put some research into it, and I think it is rather likely I have Alexithymia. However, some things seem to contradict each other so, I am unsure whether I do have Alexithymia or not and whether it's worth it to go to my doctor about it.
For a start, I can feel basic emotion. I can feel a very numb happiness, and a numb sadness. But other than that, I can't feel anything. I cannot feel strongly, and even if I do feel basic emotion it doesn't last long. For an example, I heard an ex girlfriend of mine got liver cancer, but I couldn't feel anything as hard as I tried to. I couldn't feel depressed and I was guilty to a sense.
Another thing that seems to contradict is that, I can recognize when I'm meant to be feeling emotion, but I can only feel the physical side of things. When one is depressed they usually feel physically heavy, weary and exhausted, if I'm not mistaken. I can feel that, but I can't actually feel the emotion itself.
Also, imagination. I have an extremely vivid imagination, and I always have done, but apparently you're not meant to have a great imagination if you have Alexithymia.
I can easily tell what others are feeling, but I can't feel anything myself. I love the idea of emotion and people connecting emotionally. I find it intriguing. But I wonder if that's perhaps because I can't feel myself? I wonder how people can feel a certain way towards somebody so easily whether it be love or hate. I can only look at it logically, I can't look at it from the emotive perspective.
I used to be a very emotional person a year ago, almost too emotional. I was very emotionally unstable. But recently I've realized I feel nothing, almost as if I used all my emotion up a year ago.
I'm writing this off the top of my head, and I'm not checking it either so I apologize if it's a little disorganized, but I'm wondering if any of you have certain things that contradict the symptoms of Alexithymia either.