I'm not alexithymic now, but was probably more so when I was younger and still trying to figure out who I was and what motivated me. When my daughter was born, I was given an incredible responsibility for another human and feelings of love began (slowly) to fill my heart. There's been a lot of emotional pain as part of that, but by thinking about the sources of that pain and their significance in my life, I could understand it and live with it and feel comfortable and proud that my pain was because my heart was full of love. I could accept that many things are outside of my ability to control them and the Serenity Prayer has been a great comfort, as have my family who whenever I was going through difficulty continued to show me how important I was and re-charged me with love.
As far as "help" is concerned, I guess understanding your condition and maybe sharing that knowledge with a few people that you don't think will judge you, and that already appreciate you, will minimize the difficulties and misunderstandings that are bound to arise in any interpersonal relationship. Having friends is a blessing, because they choose to support us and see us as significant, and validate that our lives have meaning. Fundamentally, the opposite of love is indifference and when people that we care about demonstrate indifference it causes pain. From what I gather, the condition can lead to behavior that is misinterpreted as indifference.
I don't know if any of that helped.
