≡ Topic: Did you ever told anyone close to you about your lack/understanding of emotions? How did they react? What happened?

Did you ever told anyone close to you about your lack/understanding of emotions? How did they react? What happened?
27.12.2016 by feels404

Did you ever told anyone close to you about your lack/understanding of emotions? How did they react? What happened?

...

I'm 27. About 7 months ago I started my first "relationships".
Which just happened, I didn't looked for it. I was never interested in relationships and I didn't think about it.

It made me realize something about myself, because she asked questions that I've never asked myself or even think about:
- How often do you get angry?
- Do you feel happy?
- What do you feel about me?
And such
On which I spent a good chunk of time to think about it and to answer. At the end it was more about what the "normal" person will answer than the truth.

In the whole period of it she called me "the most calm person she ever knew", cold and even a "robot" - ha! It was a close one

I saw her as a very emotional person. Which I liked a lot, and learned much from. She is like a total opposite of me
And after a while I started looking into psychology, tests and discussion about this subject.

I wouldn't say I don't have emotions, because I do get irritated or angry sometimes. At least I think I do.
But at the same time, when somebody close get sick I don't feel worried, which from other people I saw - I should.
When I became an uncle and held the little one in my arms the only thoughts I had is "try not to drop him".

Stuff like violent/accidents/injury videos, which from what I saw in comments people couldn't watch or wish they didn't see - I can easily finish and don't feel anything about it emotionally and only knew what I should feel to appear normal.
When I shared something like that to my close friends I often get "don't send stuff like that to me ever again", which I found strange and after a while I stopped sharing anything altogether.

Back to girlfriend. It doesn't feel fair for her to continue the relationships. Which I think will end eventually.
All of it seems like a puzzle, where I'm seeking for correct answers or actions.

However, I keep thinking about her and I like to see her happy. Which makes me think that it's more of "issue of identifying emotions", and not total lack of emotions. At the same time my actions that makes her happy could be interpreted as a reward for solving a piece of puzzle. Which could seem very fucked up way of life to somebody.

The same pretty much applies to my friends as well. In much lesser extend.
I tried once to tell about it to my brothers, which turned out into more negative reactions than I expected. So i changed a subject with reasoning that I've meant something else. And never brought it up to anybody again

I'm not sad or happy, It's more like I'm just numb inside and fake outside
I want to share it with somebody, but I worry of what gonna happen if they will realize that my interactions with them are fake. To which I cannot help
So here I'm. Done

My score of test is 138 if it's matter

Yup
27.12.2016 by Fagxin

Sounds like you pretty much exactly described me there. I found out that I had Alexi when I was already in my relationship. She took it well and it took a lot of pressure off me like trying to explain why I don't say I miss her at all. But she didn't react much to it and doesn't like to talk about it, which can be annoying as it's a big parthank of me and something I think should be talked about especially in a relationship. But I would say tell them, it will make the relationship much easier to keep going and if they really like you then their emotions will make them stay, as they are very effective in other people.

Sneaky substitute
10.01.2017 by CV

I have had no choice but to mention something to anyone with more than a passing acquaintance with me, as it's obvious and can lead to misinterpretation - that I have some kind of negative regard or ill intentions, when I simply don't have any regard at all. Since autistic alexithymia is the basis of this for me, I simply explain that I'm autistic and may not understand things that are socially based, such as social emotions. People do think this weird I imagine but most of the time, are too politically correct to take umbridge about it when phrased this way.
Unfortunately for the neurotypical population, if you explain that you lack, or cannot interpret, emotions (and from what I have seen/read it does not have to be one or the other, black or white. Perhaps you lack some emotions and able trouble identifying and understanding others?) people are either going to think you emotionally traumatised at a young age which led to stunted emotional development (which can be the case with some people) or that you are actually a psychopath and are just very smooth externally, which is also the case for others.
As for the lady - what would happen if your interactions with her became genuine? Would she still wish to be with you if you did not fake them? You seem to have some regard for her if you like to see her happy, so perhaps start there. But deception and misrepresentation of what you are does seem to be unfair. Perhaps she as an emotional person is attracted to your more steady, unemotional approach?
Strange that with women, I also tend to be attracted to emotional types, which is bizarre as I dislike any displays of emotion otherwise. Perhaps it's fascinating as their perception and behaviour is so different from our own? Compensates for the lack? I also have a young niece and when she was born - null. People describe me kindly as "zen" and critically as "bored" or "distant."