Just found out about Alexithymia
21.03.2017 by alhokailHello All,
I am not sure about myself. I mean I have some kind of feelings like anxiety/happiness/sadness but other types of feelings like fear is never experienced. My wife always complain that I don't express my feelings like she does and it's not that I don't want to express them but rather no words come up. And if she insists, then I try to find some words and usually either end up with a diplomatic reply or a wrong reply that takes the conversation to the wrong direction. I love my wife and kids and I always show that with physical actions like buying them stuff, going to a restaurant or simply giving my wife a massage.
Also, when I try to solve a problem, my wife always asks me think out loud but the way I think can't be spoken. I can think of a dozen things at the same time until I reach to a solution that is acceptable then speak out that suggestion.
As for day dreaming and imagination, when I am alone with no one near me, I have a pretty big imagination that can take me far away. But when there is someone near me (even if I don't him and we don't speak) I get no imagination at all. And regarding my dreams while sleeping, I really dream. And if i dream it's usually about running away from something and either end up falling or naked.
Is this considered Alexithymia or not? Any body experiencing the same?
This all sounds familiar
28.03.2017 by Alan1945
Hi Alhokail
I have experienced many of the same 'symptoms' that you describe. I find it very difficult to find the 'right' word to describe an emotion, although I have felt fear, I think, or maybe it's just apprehension, or concern, or terror, or some other word that describes that feeling. Yes, I also have a vivid imagination when alone, but like you, that imagination seems to disappear when there are people around. Perhaps our bodies seek the shelter of paying attention to what's happening around us rather than turning inwards to generate pictures and solutions to problems from within. My wife becomes quite cross with me at times when I am in a situation when I'm trying to find the best solution to a problem with a time constraint. Like you, my mind works far faster than I can possibly speak and to verbalize my thoughts simply slows the process down to walking speed. Therefore I find I investigate and reject a large number of solutions very quickly before deciding on what I consider to be the 'best' solution. My dreams are of two types, those that are vague and to which I seem to have no emotional attachment and very little memory after waking, and those far less frequent ones where I am living the dream and it is as vivid as my waking consciousness. These latter I have absolutely no difficulty in remembering after waking; in fact, forgetting them is impossible. I have found that these will often recur on several consecutive nights and that writing down the dream then allows me to continue with the dream on following nights, finally reaching a conclusion.
So I have modified my life a little to accommodate these factors. If I am presented with a problem that requires the use of imagination to provide a novel solution, I will always sleep on it and when I awake I usually have a very good solution. If I have to make a decision immediately and with people around I do so by moving away from others if possible and just asking for a few minutes so I can do the solution imagining and selection process. For the dreams, when I get the very strong dreams that are vivid after I wake, I then tell my wife and also write the dream down, allowing my mind to let it go a little (although it can still remember and also can still feel, but not verbalize, the emotions that the dream caused). That also allows me to move on the next night instead of repeating the same dream.
The main thing to remember is that although we are different from other people, everyone is different from each other. There is no manual written for how we are 'supposed' to work, only anecdotal comments about ways in which we all cope with differing situations. You will find that if you can be as open as possible with loved ones they will be far more understanding than if you simply clam up or become annoyed by their chatter while you're trying to concentrate.
Hope that helps.
Alan
