Topic: not sure..im alexi or not..some please put down ur opinion..im really appreaciate it..lov yaa

English Alexithymia Forum > Personal Experience

not sure..im alexi or not..some please put down ur opinion..im really appreaciate it..lov yaa
28.05.2017 by manarina2000

hi..i hope all of u can help me.. im 17 years old.i m at boarding school..so i often spend time with my friends... many problem occurs..such as exam, i lost my smartphone.. but my reaction to this problem just.. owh..okey.. something that look cools..n dont cry or something looks sad..my frend always do not satisfied on how i react. they do not understand why i react just like that..even when we just had tough examination.. for me..i thought that everything i just let them be..let god do his works for me.. i dont know how to explain.. when im a little girl ..around 7 years old..when my mother buy furniture..i dont felt to see it..in fact i want..but i dont want to show my exitement..as i dont like to compete with my brother..he always want to win..everything tht my mom buy..he wants it..until one day..im give up to compete with him..when im 5 years old..he once bite me..bcoz we compete to answer the phone..he always bully me..i hate him until now...now..my friend n family always think that i dont care if they did bad to me.. for example..my friend will straight forward about their feeling to me..im hurt..but i dont show it..as i also straight forward to them how i felt..i love one my friend very much as she care to me.. her touchness make me felt exited.. i feel someone cared for me..but its just my imagination..she do not care too much to me..huhu..but sometime she cares..i dont know how to explain..but i felt her love..i love her than my mom..my mom..i felt awkward.. i dont know why..mybe my mom dont reallly care about me since i was little kid..mybe..so..my friend always call me do not have emotion..bcoz i dont react to anything..my family also told me that im too relax..same like my friend..for me..over react is just for drama..so d u think i have this simptom? for 17 years old girl? but i know how others felt..but i just let them be..i dont want to conceal with it..i also ignore my feeling..but when sometime at night..i remember all those hurt..the hurt that no one care about me..it ache my heart very much..i felt it physically..what is my problem? someone..please help me..i cannot tell anyone..bcoz i donno how to tell anyone with word.. i dont like to talk about my feeling to others..until one day..my friend ask me how i felt as they do not know how i felt..

This is probably more than just alexithymia
29.05.2017 by tiger91

Not sure what, assertiveness problems? Too much detachment from the world as a coping mechanism? And unfulfilled emotional needs.

hi im a 18 year old gorl and i have the same problem and i also dont know what to do?
21.06.2017 by Michaela1205

teenage years and I have gotten to the point where I am seeing a therapist every week (where I go they don't have any groups that talk like this or any thing so that's why I started looking online to see why I feel or in this case don't feel and I found this and now I don't feel so alone). For years I had and still have trouble even expressing and even interpreting my emotions. I have panic attacks and trust issues galore and I was bullied when I was in school so I just stoped going and now I'm doing virtual schooling. When I was younger I realised I wasn't 'normal' like everyother kid I just didn't know why or how (btw I was a avid bookworm but now it just seems boring I guess so I stopped reading I barely ever do anything because I don't know what I like To do anymore everything just became pointless like it doesn't matter anymore) then I entered my teens and then hormones got added to mic and complicated things further or really the lack there off ( I see no reason for any type sexual contact at all it just see so troublesome to me I guess), idk honestly if I have this or not guess I have to talk to my therapist (which is honestly really tough when I am not good with emotions in anyway shape or form, i am anti-social. I basically have no friends now because I messed up in the emotion department with them all and the few I do have barely know me except for when we are at school and never actually ask about me at all just talk about there problems and drama, I'm always the one that instigates any conversations which honestly I am the type of person to sit back and observe and listen, if I didn't do that I am 100% sure they wouldn't even talk to me let alone try and be friends but honestly now I just don't care to pretend any more. I always now that I think about it didn't know my emotions so I just observed and copied people around me in till I seemed 'normal' to them but now that I don't have anyone but my family and I'm doing virtual school I have stopped pretending and I started looking up what all this could mean and it lead me here. I honestly hope this is it cause it explains so much and it started freaking out my family (my no emotions) because I told my mom right after my step sister grandma died that I didnt feel anything when she died (I was the one who saw her take her last breath while they were all crying and had to go get the nurse's). So then I got shipped to the therapists and was diagnosed with bipolar2 and adhd and I going to ask her about this in our next meeting and see if she can give a real test to see if I have it for real or if it's something else entirely.

I hope some of you reply so I can see what you think of this cause I really don't know what I have and neither does my therapist about the no emotion thingy as I call it.

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