Topic: can someone with alexithymia be an empath?

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can someone with alexithymia be an empath?
04.05.2018 by JoanjojoW

I am new to this whole thing. My question is 'can someone be alexithymia and empathetic. I have no empathy, yet I can understand others have emotions. I am just puzzled how someone can be both alexi and empathetic.

Empath
07.05.2018 _T('by') Roger1369

I’m and Empath and HSP, my personality type is INFJ.. So yes and Empath can have Alexithymia

Yes(?)
21.07.2018 _T('by') scarredlightning

I think so... but I think if it’s Alexi it could be a moral compass compensating??

Poles apart
15.09.2018 _T('by') Jute

To me the whole Alexi and Empath things are poles apart. If you don't understand, recognise or even experience your own emotions have can you possible empathise with somebody else's? I personally don't recognise most of my own emotions and as for other people's I only know what they're feeling if they tell me in plain English and if they do I find it embarrassing. Frankly couldn't give a toss about them, I just don't want to know.

Autistics and Psychopaths
30.09.2018 _T('by') Hsingai

Autistics often have poor logical empathy but have high emotional empathy. Just because you don't recognize your emotions doesn't mean they don't exist. jute you're a Psychopath, you lack emotional empathy. Hopefully your pro-social like James Fallon and not one that views the world as an unfair place, so that they can do whatever they want and not feel bad about it.

Armchair analyst
01.10.2018 _T('by') Jute

Gee, why did I spent several sessions and many hours with a psychologist, who diagnosed me with OCD and nothing else, when it took you just one post to diagnose me as a psychopath? Your 'diagnosis' is based on what? At the very least it's misguided and at worse it's a personal attack and a deliberate insult.

Autistics often have poor logical empathy but have high emotional empathy. Just because you don't recognize your emotions doesn't mean they don't exist.

If I'm aware of having emotions that I don't recognise then of course they must exist, that's simple logic, which I was already aware of.

My advice to you is, stick to replying to posts and don't make rash, unsupported statements and accusations about other users who you know next to nothing about.

This interaction is over. If you make any more personal attacks on me I'll report you to the site Admins.

In my defence.
01.10.2018 _T('by') Hsingai

ee, why did I spent several sessions and many hours with a psychologist, who diagnosed me with OCD and nothing else,Psychopathy isn't part of normal psychology, it part of criminality.Your 'diagnosis' is based on what?as for other people's I only know what they're feeling if they tell me in plain English and if they do I find it embarrassing. Frankly couldn't give a toss about them, I just don't want to know.

when it took you just one post to diagnose me as a psychopath?Jute had already made several posts here.

You were warned
01.10.2018 _T('by') Jute

This interaction is over. If you make any more personal attacks on me I'll report you to the site Admins.

Yet, you continue with the amateur psychology. I've reported you and this is my last communication with you. You have nothing to say that I wish to hear.

02.12.2018 _T('by') Misdiagnonsense

I'm very much an empath. I can feel what others are feeling, but I still have a difficult time expressing the emotion in words. I have difficulty pinpointing what exactly I am feeling, but feel tremendously.

05.12.2018 _T('by') Jute

I also have difficulty understanding my own feelings. At times they can be very intense but it would be difficult for me to categorize precisely what emotions I am actually experiencing. I have no idea what other people are feeling, unless they tell me in plain and unequivocal terms.

23.06.2019 _T('by') Sennomo

I guess I'm a "learned" empath.

Also perhaps partly because I'm a Buddhist and I practice compassion--I may not necessarily understand how it feels, but I definitely have the idea of being nice to other people hardwired in my brain and behaviors.

12.07.2019 _T('by') Tony_Sandy

Empathy is an act - sympathy is a feeling (sorrow for the other beings plight)

21.07.2019 _T('by') aletteinthemaze

@JoanjojoW asked, "Can someone with Alexithymia be an Empath." I believe it's possible because I sense that I'm married to someone who could be.

It sounds irrational, I know. How could someone who can't express what they're feeling (Alexi) be an Empath. What I've learned this year (to my shock) is that many are Empaths from trauma during childhood.

Just as is Narcissism (Narcissistic Personality Disorder). A traumatized or neglected child goes one way or the other. My brother has full blown NPD. I am an Empath (late bloomer to settled into this - 40's. I'm 50 now).

Sensitivity (ability to sense the invisible) is a natural human trait that we're born having access to. Trauma during childhood suppresses or expands your sensitivity. Me: I never knew if Mom would be happy, sad, angry, loving, violent, when I trusted, I was sexually abused, when I began to feel safe, I was abandoned, etc.

*** I learned that if I could sense, intuit, anticipate, feel what others were feeling, I could protect myself, get out of the way of danger ** -- like a deer and a lion in the bushes. The deer senses danger and runs to safety before the lion can attack. Most of the time).

Husband: Parents: Religious addicts. He was whipped, spanked, punished if he showed *any* emotion - from super excited to angry, any extreme emotion was 'the work of the devil'. Intuition was a sin.

My husband had a 'cognition experience' around age 9. He told his dad (excitedly, with a child's naivety, that he knew something before it happened). His dad mocked, minimized and stifled the experience. He said it was the 'work of a demon' and if he did it again, he would go to hell for eternity and no son of his was going to disgrace him like that.

If he was seen as doing something bad (child stuff, nothing truly bad), his said would say, "you feel you are___" and if he responded, "No dad, I don't feel that way. I promise! I feel ____," this would enrage his dad. He'd grab the paddle and spank him until he agreed that what he felt was what his DAD TOLD him he felt.

**** Husband learned as a child: "It's not safe to feel or show emotions. Detach from my emotions, disconnect."

My husband is not abusive physically or verbally. He's neglectful... unintentionally *sigh*. He filters reality. Anything that has too much emotion or feeling for him (learned as a child) is filtered out. If say, "I'm devastated" he hears "I'm angry" or "I'm sad."

Whether I'm crying from a cut on my thumb that happened chopping a cucumber or crying from the sudden death of someone close to me, it's registered in him as the same.

It's getting better, but it's a painful painful process for us both, each in our own way.

I'm learning through research and study (and desperation), that this filtering is programmed into him from childhood (it still hurts, nonetheless, and I feel his confusion and all of the feelings he can't recognize he's feeling when he feels them).

He has alexithymia. Thank God we know now. And he has me - Empath, intuitive, clarcognizant (all of this coming into alignment in me within the last 2 years).

He's got the "gift" -- I say. He just doesn't know how to feel it. You may too, and you're sensing it.

To all who read this: Answers are in Dr. Gabor Mate, YouTube-Richard Grannon, Dr. Jonice Webb (I'm sure many of you have heard of her already), Pete Walker's Book "From Surviving to Thriving," Dr. Judith Orloff (Empath AND Psychiatrist), YouTube-IANDSVideos "International Association for Near Death Studies"

With gratitude and appreciation for this discussion,

~ Alette


31.01.2020 _T('by') User71900F89

Bless you


04.03.2020 _T('by') Diezell

Someone with alexithymia can definitely be empathic. Although you might be disconnected from your emotions and your empathy, all those processes are still active in your subconscious mind influencing what you do.

17.03.2020 _T('by') icantcry

yes you can definitely be empathic and still not actually feel yourself. i think alot of my friends see me as someone who is because i have alot of friends who talk to me about things in their lives and their feelings towards it. i think i do a good job because they keep coming back but in my mind i really dont care, they just helping me pass the time

19.11.2020 _T('by') User61433B90

I think there is word-meaning disconnection.

Empathy means you can set yourself into that other persons situation and feel the same.

Sympathy means you understand someone has faced some difficulty and realize he is affected by that, thus either giving him support for it or accounting for it in some other way.

And once again:

Sympathy:
If somebody would tell you about thinking of suicide, you know he is not probably feeling well. You say, "Oh there is so much to live for, just keep on going and things will get better. I make some coffee"

Or more practical, someone says their arms are very weak because of working so you say,
"Let me carry those bags for you then."

Empathy:
It is about placing yourself into other's position and feeling the similar feeling as other. He feels sad, you feel sad. I do not know if I have ever felt something like that. Sounds wild.

27.05.2021 _T('by') User34830M97

Alexithymia and empathy--can. they co-exist in the same person? I would say yes; I'm the first person to run and get a tissue when I see or hear someone crying even though I don't know why I am doing it.

06.10.2021 _T('by') Ash-

I possibly have alexithymia, but I think it's on a different spectrum than what a few of you guys are explaining. I HAVE emotions, I just don't understand them or feel them in my brain. I feel stress and anxiety because they have physical effects, but I empathise with other people. I know my friends emotions by heart and I've helped with many emotional problems with my friends, but I don't understand my own emotions. I think I understand emotions so well because I've been reading and love it too. I've always been intrigued with emotions too.

06.10.2021 _T('by') Ash-

I possibly have alexithymia, but I think it's on a different spectrum than what a few of you guys are explaining. I HAVE emotions, I just don't understand them or feel them in my brain. I feel stress and anxiety because they have physical effects, but I empathise with other people. I know my friends emotions by heart and I've helped with many emotional problems with my friends, but I don't understand my own emotions. I think I understand emotions so well because I've been reading and love it too. I've always been intrigued with emotions too.

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